


Open Doors

by TypicallyUntypical



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 35,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypicallyUntypical/pseuds/TypicallyUntypical
Summary: Logan moves into an apartment with three other men, Virgil, Patton, and Roman. He thought nothing would come of sharing a house with other people, but relationships are hard, especially when everyone has their own baggage to carry. What will he do when his past comes back to haunt not just him, but those he starts calling his friends?In case you missed it in the tags, this book will have mentions of a past abusive relationship as well as self-harm.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Other(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

Logan looked in the mirror, tracing the line along his upper arm. Pragmatic, Emotionless, Cold.Were those necessarily bad things? No, he had been striving to be exactly that. Logic was the only constant in this world, emotions ebbed and waned, but logic was true. So why did it hurt? Roommates could be difficult, and sure Roman probably didn’t mean it. Still, it hurt.

Logan grabbed the old-fashioned razor and began to shave his face, cleaning it between strokes. Once clean shaven he looked over his face and then at the scar once again. You could never understand what it is like to dream! You’re just a Robot. Logan took the razor sank it into his flesh, opening the scar again. He was well aware that this was not healthy, but he was smart. It had to be precise, one scar was easier to hide than many. It had to be exact, too deep could cause unwanted side effects, too shallow and the needed cathartic release wouldn’t happen. Logan dropped the razor as the pain hit him. Tears began to fill his eyes, but he swallowed them back. He took a deep breath; he didn’t need his emotions. Pain was a physical response. Pain was real, but this pain in his heart was not.

Logan let his emotions fade as he picked up the razor and began to clean it off, sanitizing it and putting it back in the medicine cabinet. Cleaning his wound, he bandaged it and slid on his black button-up, looking at his face in the mirror. He cleaned himself up and put his tie on, straightening it out. He left the bathroom and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Patton was there with his usual bowl of cereal, happily eating it. Logan gave him a soft nod and went to make his own breakfast.

“You know Lo, I’m sure Roman didn’t mean what he said.” His voice was soft and gentle, truly an example of someone who was in touch with his emotions.

“It is quite alright; it truly doesn’t bother me, Patton. After all, there is nothing, he said that wasn’t, in some base parts of his statement, true.”

“Are you sure? You looked a bit upset by it before.” He had those large puppy dog eyes that one gets when they are trying to be helpful but don’t know the right words to speak.

“I do not allow childish words like that to affect me.”

“Well that’s good to hear,” Roman said, coming into the kitchen. There was a silence among them until Logan grabbed a breakfast he could eat on the go and left the apartment.

Patton turned to Roman with a small pout. “You should apologize Princey. I think you really hurt Logan’s feelings.”

“That’s impossible, Microsoft Turd doesn’t have feelings, I’m pretty sure he is actually some sort of AI robot sent to spy on humans.”

“Now, Logan is human just like the rest of us; he is just a bit reserved. If you keep poking fun at him he will be less willing to tell him about his feelings when he does have them. We need to be encouraging.”

“That’s easy for you to say, he isn’t the one constantly telling you that your dreams are unachievable.”

“You are being loud Princey.” Virgil had come out of his room, but his hood was already up. He walked to the fridge, poured himself a glass of milk, and then grabbed an apple. “And if you think Logan is trying to sh-”

“Shakira, Shakira,” Patton said with a smile, both of the other men looking at him. They knew he didn’t like swearing so Virgil sighed and started over.

“If you think Logan is trying to trash your dreams you don’t understand him.” Virgil shrugged though because it wasn’t his place, but he liked Logan. The man was always very analytical, he thought about what he said before he said it and he was always striving to be truthful. Yeah, it could sometimes be irritating when he responded with data that just wasn’t helpful. Virgil slammed his milk and waved as he headed out.

“That’s not a healthy breakfast,” Patton called after him, but Virgil was already out the door and headed to work. “Roman, I think it’s really important to follow your dreams, but why don’t you have a talk with Logan tonight. See if you can patch things up.”

“Whatever, Patton.” But just because his voice was harsh though didn’t mean he wasn’t listening to Patton. Maybe he could talk to Logan when he came back from work. Patton had to leave soon which meant Roman would be left with the chores for the day. It would give him plenty of time to think over this dilemma.


	2. Chapter 2

Roman spent most of the day cleaning the house and dancing around to Disney music. It was only when he finished, flopping down on the couch, that he stopped to think about the night before. Had he been too hard on Logan? He always strived to be as kind and courageous as the princes in movies and fairytales, but he wasn’t very prince-like last night. He didn’t intend to hurt Logan, but he had just been so frustrated. Roman had been working so hard for his auditions. It was already hard enough trying to get a part in any stage production, much less one that would work with his schedule. He had just been so heartbroken when he thought he might have failed the audition. After explaining his frustration Logan didn’t help or console him. The words from last night still hung in Roman’s head. ‘With the number of auditions, you have attended recently, it is simple mathematics that you were bound to do poorly on one of them.’ That was not what he needed to hear at a time like that. Even thinking about it now made his

blood boil again. Roman stood, ready to get his frustration out when Virgil’s words came back to him. ‘If you think Logan is trying to trash your dreams you don’t understand him.’Was he misunderstanding Logan, or did Virgil just give the calculator watch too much credit? Virgil and Roman didn’t really get along very well, but he also wasn’t one to sugar coat anything.

At some point, his playlist ran out and the house filled with silence. Even still, he barely noticed when he heard the front door open and close. Roman had spent the last of his free time just thinking about his relationship with his roommates. He noticed when a figure start walking past him and snapped out of his thoughts completely. “Ah, just the person I needed to talk to.”

Logan’s eyebrow raised, his messenger bag halfway off his shoulder as he looked at Roman. “What did you wish to discuss?”

“I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have lashed out like I did.”

Logan continued to take off his bag and hold it by the handle strap. “As I am sure you can recall from this morning it does not bother me. There was truth within your words and-“

“Yes, but that doesn’t give me the right to say them. I don’t understand why you said what you said but I should have told you how it made me feel before blowing up.”

He didn’t like being interrupted, but that was no reason to get angry. Logan was being forced to explain himself when he had been perfectly articulated earlier. “I am not sure what part of my statement from last night was unclear, however, I am assuming from your reaction last night, as well as this discussion, that my connotation my not have come across properly.” Logan forced his voice to stay in one tone. He did not want people to assume his words had a different meaning than what he was saying. “Roman, you work very hard in pursuing the things that you enjoy and are good at. You have attended many auditions in the pursuit of your dream. This, in and of itself, brings a high mathematical probability that at least one of these auditions will not meet up to the standards you have set for yourself. I reiterate though, this is one or two outlier performances in a plethora of otherwise stellar performances. The amount of time and effort you put into these auditions is proof that you have the drive to make your dreams succeed. I do not understand why one audition should get in the way of your confidence.”

Roman watched Logan, attempting to process half of the things the nerd had said. “You really suck at emotions, don’t you?” A smile grew on his face, “But thanks, I kind of get it. In your own way, you were trying to tell me that there will always be another audition.” Logan blinked.

“Well, yes, that is one way of looking at it.”

Roman patted Logan on the shoulder, not noticing as the taller man flinched as he turned to head to his room. “Thanks, I am going to go prepare for my next audition.” Roman seemed to be

in higher spirits, and his anger had dissipated. He had some weird roommates, but if even the nerd could see how awesome he was then maybe things were looking up.

Logan watched Roman walk off before he turned and went into his bedroom, slumping against the walls. Explaining himself was exhausting. He always did his best to be concise and precise, how was it that people still misunderstood his intentions. Pushing up his glasses he rubbed his eyes, forcing his body to relax against the cold wall. At least he would now have the peace and quiet of the house to enjoy.

“I’m home kiddos.” He could hear Patton shouting, “And I found a wild Virgil.” Logan just shook his head and headed to his desk chair. Peace would not be achieved tonight. Logan had brought home some things he hadn’t been able to finish at work. He had been hoping he would have the quiet house for a bit longer as he worked, but that wasn’t going to be possible now. Maybe he would skip dinner. That wouldn’t be possible. Patton would not allow him to skip out on a meal. Although he and Patton were about the same age, Patton had taken on the role of the parental figure in the house. He made told bad jokes all day, laughed loud enough light up the neighbors and was just a genuinely caring person. Logan looked down at his hands before sighing and going back to his work, barely listening to Patton and Virgil in the kitchen.

“Hey Pat, do you want help cooking Dinner?” Virgil asked, shoving his hands into his dark Jeans.

“Now you know I will never say no to your help Kiddo. Even if it’s just because you want to make sure everything is done safely.” Virgil shrugged at the comment.

“That’s part of it, but I like chilling with you.” He would never admit it, but it was nice to have a father figure, even if Patton was only two years older than him.

“Chilling with me? Have I become cool?” He asked with a mischievous smile, “because I have been eating a lot of Popsicles.” He emphasized the word pop.

Virgil almost snorted, hiding his smile behind the sleeve of his hoodie. Patton’s eyes sparkled with happiness when he heard Virgil chuckle.

“You like my dad jokes.”

“Yeah, so what, their pretty funny.” Blushing he rubbed the back of his neck. “Now what are we making?”

Logan shook his head, rubbing the slight smile off of his face. That had not been funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first posted this chapter, someone commented that Roman must have been cleaning a long time to make it through all of the Disney Songs, but in fact, Roman has a specific playlist for cleaning. And because I am slightly extra, only slightly, I made said playlist. Link is below, it is Roman's Cleaning Playlist.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLU1cjH0WDkO23VbRLwBTdXUN_Vuncgd6J


	3. Chapter 3

In his usual exuberance, Patton called out for the others, “Dinner is ready!” Just after they had first moved in, Patton had insisted they have dinner together at least once a week. It was his way of kindling a bond between the four of them. There had, of course, been a little resistance at first. Virgil had been the first to agree, though Patton assumed it had only been because of the puppy eyes. After that, Virgil then convinced Logan. The two had a long debate but Virgil was able to convince Logan that building a strong basis for communication would help ease any disagreements in the future. Roman had been easy. Being one for theatrics, Roman did not like the idea of being kept out of the weekly gossip. So the four men fell into a routine of having dinner together every Friday night.

“Thank you for cooking Patton.” Logan adjusted his glasses as he entered the room, nodding to Virgil who was already sitting in his spot. “Though you do not have to cook every week. We are more than capable of helping with this social experiment.”

“Oh, but I don’t mind Logan.” He smiled at Logan calling it a social experiment. “You are all welcome to come join me for the cooking, but it’s something I have been doing for a while.”

“Well, that being said, if you need assistance, I am willing to offer it, but I have nothing beyond a technical knowledge of cooking.”

“Wait you never learned to cook before?” Patton looked surprised but it made a bit of sense. Logan was really book smart.

“It was not a skill that took priority in my family. Though I did learn much about nutrition and proper meal preparation, I never put it into practice.”

“Not a priority? What did your family do for food?”

“Well, my father was a rather prolific doctor. We had someone who would come in and cook our meals for the week.”

Patton frowned as if he was trying to fix together the pieces of a complicated Puzzle. “Well didn’t you live alone for a short time before moving in with us?”

“Yes, during my college years.”

The pieces were still there, taunting poor Patton. “What did you do during that time?”

“Probably lived off ramen like the rest of us,” Virgil whispered. Patton looked at Virgil.

“Virgil no.” He said in a hushed whisper.

“Nothing so unhealthy, you two. Please give me some credit. I frequented many restaurants and cafes that specialized in balanced nutritional meals.”

Roman walked in, holding a small set of papers that he was examining.

“That must have been very expensive Lo.” There it was. Logan had grown up in a rich family, hadn’t he?

“Well yes, that was one of many of the reasons I chose to find a place with roommates. I knew that living with other people was going to be less of a drain on my budget as rent would be cheaper and with the ease in my wallet, I was not worried about the price of my future meals. I did not expect to be able to put my skills into practice. Nor did I expect to have a roommate who enjoys cooking. I have been fortunate to have your kindness, Patton.”

Patton smiled, the confusion and curiosity fading. He had had so many questions but they were all lost when Logan complimented him. “Thank you, Logan, that’s so sweet. I’m happy to keep cooking but if you want to put some of your skills into practice I can duck out next week.”

“Duck out?” His brows knitted together before he understood, “Oh... yes, no, I think it would be most beneficial to have someone who has actual practice with the craft to supervise me.”

Patton smiled and clapped, “Well I will happily teach you how to cook kiddo!” “Not your son.”

Roman, finally putting his script down, “What’s going on Padre?” Logan felt as if Roman had said that just to antagonize him.

“Logan is going to cook for us next family night!”

“Really? I didn’t know the bionic boy could cook.”

Logan frowned, straightening his shoulders and his tie. “Cooking is just following a recipe, I am sure if I follow the instructions precisely than it will be no problem.” He looked at Roman and before he knew what was coming out of his mouth, “I’m sure it is nor different than following a computer program.”

“That’s not what I....” Roman rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down. He and Logan shared a look before they looked back to the fatherly figure.

Patton served up all of the food with a smile. They were about to begin eating when Roman’s phone went off. He looked at it, frowned and silenced his phone before shoving it in his pocket.

“Who’s that, Roman?” Patton looked at him with curious eyes. “No one important.”


	4. Chapter 4

Patton had been concerned about the phone call Roman had received, but there hadn’t been any time to think about it over the week. He loved managing a book store. Not only did he get to spend his day helping parents pick out the right books for their children, but he also got the chance to help out his fellow coworkers. For example, Crystal, one of the teenagers who worked there, had needed to take the week off. She had received an interview for the college she wanted to go to next year, being a manager, Patton happily changed her schedule around. He was so proud of her! Unfortunately, Jonathan had gotten sick. Now Jonathan was a hard worker and student body president as a Junior. He never missed work. Jonathan he had tried to come in even with his high fever. Patton sent him home and told him to take a few days off. That meant two off his staff members were out of commission, leaving Patton to cover all of the extra shifts.

After more than 80 hours of work over the past 7 days, Patton walked into the apartment attempting to hide his weariness. He forced a smile at the buzz of his ‘family’. He loved his roommates, but he was ready to go to bed.

“Patton!" Roman exclaimed as he vaulted over the couch. “Patton, I got the part! Play Rehearsal starts next week, and I talked with my boss. He was very understanding! I'm going to be able to work and go to all of the required practices.” He took Patton’s hand, his eyes sparkling.

“Oh! I’m so proud of you Kiddo!” He wanted to be nothing but happy for Roman. “This means we should make something extra special for dinner. Is Virgil still not home yet?”

Roman shook his head and rolled his eyes, “J Delightful hasn’t come back from work yet.”

“Well, I’ll text him soon to make sure everything is okay. Can’t have a family dinner without my little shadowling. Oh, does this mean you won’t be able to make it to family dinner for a while?”

“Unfortunately, yes, but the stage is calling me!” Letting go of Patton’s hand Roman extended his dramatically making Patton smile.

“How about I come to bring you dinner on Friday nights then? That way you don't fully miss out on family dinner night!”

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I do not want to inconvenience you, my friend.” “I would be delighted to.”

“Then I shall look forward to the feasts you bring.” He smiled, “Do you need help cooking tonight?”

“Of course, but I think Logan was going to help me, right?” He really didn't want to cook, but he didn't want them to worry either.

Logan looked up from his book. He had been sitting on the couch, silently ignoring Roman. “Yes, quite right.” Closing the book, he stood. “Since cooking is an essential skill for personal survival, I would appreciate learning how to put what I know into practice.”

“Roman, if you want to help, could you set the table?"  
“I shall take on this heroic task.” They began to fall into a comfortable rhythm.

As Patton went to turn the cooking duties over to Logan, the apartment door quickly opened and slammed shut. It was followed by a secondary slamming. All three looked at each other before Patton finished drying off his hands. Despite his own week being difficult, Patton was sure he could help better than the others.

“You two finish up. I’ll be right back.” Waking over to Virgil’s room, he knocked on the door. “Hey, buddy, are you alright?” There was no response, but he could hear the labored breathing and soft sobs. Carefully, Patton opened up the door, shutting it behind him.

Virgil tried to form words, one hand in his hair while the other covered his mouth. He wanted to tell Patton he was fine, but his breath caught in his throat and he choked on it. More tears began to form as Virgil shook his head no.

The scene broke Patton’s heart. He knew the youngest in their group struggled with anxiety but being able to put a name to it didn’t make it easier. Patton knelt down to Virgil's level. “Match my breathing,” he whispered, holding out his hand. He knew Virgil would only take it when he was ready.

The first time Patton experienced one of Virgil's attacks was right after they moved in together. Patton had had an early shift and had come home to Vigil pacing in his room. When Patton had gone in to check on him and ask what was wrong Virgil had completely broken down. Watching their sarcastic and cynical roommate break down did not get easier over time. Since that first time, Patton had done what he could to learn how to help Vigil. There were different theories and methods. Sometimes Virgil needed to work on it himself, sometimes he needed a distraction, and sometimes he just needed a hand to hold. It had been a murky area, but Patton was trying to be a supportive person in all of their lives. He hoped he was managing.

Seeing the outstretched hand Virgil quickly grabbed it. He put his fingers on Patton’s wrist to feel his pulse. The slow rhythm of Patton's heart being the music he needed to calm down. Slowly, he began to gain control of himself. After a few minutes, he took in a deep shaky breath. It seemed as if his breathing had returned to normal.

“Doing a bit better?” Patton whispered.

Virgil nodded, letting go of Patton's hand. “Yeah, a bit. Dinner smells good.” The two stood up together and Virgil pulled at the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Oh right! Dinner! We should check on the boys and see if it is done.” Patton gently led him out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen where Logan and Roman were waiting patiently.

“Sorry,” Virgil said avoid eye contact.

“That bad of a day at work dark and stormy?” Roman cooed.

“Yeah,” Virgil responded while rolling his eyes. The problem was it really hadn’t been. He wasn't sure what had caused this attack. Sometimes, it was hard to pinpoint a specific reason.

The four of them fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by small talk and the sound of eating. None of them seemed to have the energy to discuss their week.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner, Patton went to his room. He was ready to finally relax. Patton felt like the frayed end of a wire, a little tingly and close to a bad jolt of energy. He slid into his bed, not worrying about changing his clothes, and closed his eyes. As his shoulders began to relax and he began to fall asleep, he heard an argument in the common room.

“No, you are not allowed to come over!” It sounded like Roman who was shouting. “Remus, I do not want you around my new roommates, you will freak them out.”

His voice dipped a bit and Patton thought maybe that was it, maybe it was over. He closed his eyes again, trying to ignore it until the shout came again.

“Who messes up Shakespeare with Zombies!” There was a slam of something hitting the floor.

Patton sighed and stood up, walking out of his room and putting on his signature smile as he made his way out of the bedroom. Roman was standing in the common room looking at his phone which sat on the floor. “Hey Ro, you doing okay?” Patton asked, slowly making his way over.

“Of course, I am always wonderful and perfect!” His voice sounded angry. “That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself buddy.”

Roman’s shoulders slumped as knelt down to pick up his phone. “Yeah, well... I have a lot of challenges to overcome.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”  
He hesitated but nodded. “Yeah, maybe I should for once.”

Patton walked over and sat on the couch and tapped the space next to him. With barely any hesitation, Roman flopped next to him and looked at his phone. “It’s my brother. He is my brother, so of course, I love him, but he... we are twins, and he has always been a bit more...” waving his hand in the air he looked for the right word, “demented. His words, not mine Pat,” Roman felt the need to defend himself, he always did when it came to Remus. “He and Virgil would probably get along, maybe. Anyway, both of us have always loved theater and we have always wanted to be a part of it. He plays a great villain I have to admit that, but he was given the opportunity to direct Hamlet because of his ‘innovative ideas’.” Roman sighed into his hands. “He is adding Zombies to Hamlet, I’m all for creativity but it takes away the driving force of Hamlet’s madness if his father is a mindless Zombie instead of a ghost, and what about poor Ophelia, does she also end up as a Zombie?” He frowned.

“Well, that’s a very... creative approach, but I don’t think him messing up Hamlet is really why you are angry.” Patton put a gentle hand on Roman’s shoulder.

Roman was quiet for some time. “I... I guess not. Logan and I have patched things up, and I understand what he meant by the words he said, he even encouraged me, but his words still make me feel... insecure. My screwy brother is directing a show... and I can barely get a part.” He set his phone down. “What if I’m not good enough to achieve my dreams? What if people like Remus more than they like me?”

“Now, Roman, that’s not like you. You are so talented. People are into the edgy things right now, but you are full of such wonderful enthusiasm for the arts and for performing. I have no doubt that you will be able to get more roles. People are going to see how amazing your performance is, and you won’t be able to keep the talent scouts away. And if your brother is also successful, that’s okay. His success does not in any way diminish yours.”

Roman smiled, “Thank you, Patton, you always know just what to say.” Standing up he smiled at Patton. “I’m going to call and apologize to my brother. I should be proud of what he has achieved. Thank you, Padre, you are a star.”

Patton smiled as Roman walked away back to his room and as the door closed Patton’s smile fell, closing his eyes he laid back on the couch. He was so tired.


	6. Chapter 6

As the hours of the night passed, Logan found himself unable to sleep. His mind had been racing, trying to figure out Patton's extraordinary ability. How was he able to do it? He handled the emotions of others with an amazing amount of compassion and empathy. Virgil had come home displaying signs of either anger or possibly anxiety, and Patton had literally lept into action. There had been no hesitation at all, he had immediately known what to do. Logan couldn’t even understand what their roommate had been feeling.

He began tapping his pencil against the side of his computer, feeling like he was getting nowhere. He had been spending every night, since his fight with Roman, studying ways to be more empathetic. Logan knew that this was not his strong suit, and it likely never would be. Still, he wanted to be a better roommate. He wanted to be useful and he had no desire to continue fighting over meaningless quarrels. He thought, if he could improve his knowledge set, maybe he wouldn't say things that would set Roman off. Yet, he wasn't able to understand this, at least not the way Patton did.

Logan had been hiding his research from his other roommates. He felt ashamed that he was lacking in something that could be considered a basic human skill. He didn't want to be seen as a joke. He didn't want them to think less of him.

A sigh slid past his lips, and Logan began rubbing his arm where he had cut himself. Indulging in this fleeting pain reminded him, having emotions was not useful. Understanding emotions would serve his need to be a proper roommate, but he did not need to allow himself to experience them. He turned to look at the clock.

It was 1:37, he still did not feel tired. Logan could feel his mind buzzing, but it would have to be ignored. He could not allow his personal dilemmas to affect his job. Stretching his back, he walked out of his room and towards the kitchen. A glass of water might be just what he needed to take his mind off everything.

That had been his plan, but someone was laying on the couch. A couch was not a suitable place to sleep and they were all aware of this fact. With a mild frown, Logan went to investigate. “Patton, what are you doing sleeping on the couch?” The concern filled his face but he pushed it back. If he was to sleep out here, Patton would need a blanket. Wasting no time, in thinking about this further, he made his way back to his bedroom, grabbing an extra blanket and placed it over the sleeping man. Logan had theorized that a small intrusion would not wake Patton.

“Logan?” Apparently, his hypothesis had been incorrect.

“Yes, apologies Patton I did not intend to wake you.” He had not made it past the couch.

“It’s okay, I should head to bed anyway, what time is it?”

“1: 40. Why did you fall asleep on the couch, to begin with? The TV does not seem as if you had been watching something."

“That late? No, I was just talking with Roman and fell asleep on the couch.”

“And Roman did not carry you back to your room? He does have a flair for that type of dramatic display.”

“I think he had already left before I fell asleep,” Patton yawned, finally standing up. Logan’s brow furrowed. This was unlike Patton.

“Very well. Would you like assistance back to your room?”

“No, I can get it.” He held out the blanket to Logan, but there was something abnormal in his eyes. This would be a good time to test out some of the things Logan had been learning, but why did his palms feel sweaty.

Logan took in a deep breath, pushed up his glasses. “Patton, I know that I am not the first choice when it comes to speaking about emotions, and their effects, but if you find yourself in need of a hypothetical shoulder to cry on, please let me know.”

Somehow that seemed to wake Patton up. His eyes studied Logan for a moment. “Logan,” he said softly. His voice was so gentle, so kind. Logan frowned. Had he said something wrong? “Is everything alright?”

“I am not the one who fell asleep on the couch, Patton.”

“I’m alright. I promise. I’m always alright. Thank you for your offer. I know you aren’t really good with a lot of stuff like this though.” He opened his mouth and yawned again. “I don't want to trouble you. Thank you again. You are a great roommate.” Patton began walking off and Logan gripped the blanket in his hand.

He stood there frozen. _'You aren't really good with a lot of stuff like this.'_ It echoed in his head like a voice in a canyon. Logan didn't snap out of his trance until he heard Patton's door close. Getting his glass of water, he made his way to the bathroom. He locked the door. Sleeping pills? No, it was too late in the evening, he would oversleep. He would take them back to his room for the next time he had this problem. When he grabbed the bottle his fingers grazed over the razor in the medicine cabinet. _'You're just a robot.'_ He couldn’t, not until his wound had healed. Another sigh left his lips as he turned and left the bathroom.

'I don't want to trouble you.' If it were trouble, he wouldn’t have offered. Logan could feel his anger rising. Had he once again misphrased what he was intending to convey? ‘You aren’t really good with a lot of stuff like this’. He wasn't very good but he was trying to get better. He slammed the glass of water on his desk. Was he that inadequate? How was he supposed to get better without practice? He was trying. He had been trying.

Logan sank into his desk chair. _'You are an emotionless robot, and no one but me will ever love you.'_

That was not Roman's voice. He had not heard this voice echo in his head for a few years now. 

_'I am the only one who could ever love you.'_

His nails sunk into his arm. If he purged his emotions, he would not need love.

Logan stood up abruptly, walking over to his desk and tearing out the research pages he had written. His beautiful cursive looked up at him before he crumpled it up.

_'You're just a robot.'_

Even if he were to study, he was a robot.

_'You aren’t really good with a lot of stuff like this.'_

He would never be able to help Patton.

_'You could never understand what it's like to dream.'_

He would always hurt Roman.

Logan threw the pages away. It was better to shut it all out. This had been a pointless endeavor. He undid his tie and carelessly threw it to the floor, collapsing onto his bed. If he didn't allow himself to feel it, then it didn't matter. What need does a robot have for emotions?


	7. Chapter 7

Despite staying up late, Patton woke up at about the same time he always did. He felt well-rested and could tell today would be a good day. His dreams had been filled with his roommates, just the four of them sitting, bonding, and talking about life. It was a perfect picture of the peaceful family he had always wanted. Just having Logan care enough to ask about him last night, had meant a lot. Patton wanted to thank him. What was the best way to thank someone so logical and practical? A practical gift, maybe breakfast, though Patton didn’t know what Logan’s favorite food was. He always seemed to have a balanced breakfast, with the exception of the extra slice of toast. That was right, Logan had a love for the particular brand of jam. He could make pancakes with jam swirled in them, and if he made it with whole wheat flour then it would be healthier right?

A smile spread over Patton’s lips and he quickly jumped up. The clock told him he still had a bit of time before Logan normally left for work. He would have to be quick but it would be worth it.

Humming he went to the kitchen only to see Logan’s coffee cup in the drying rack. “He was up pretty late last night, did he still leave early?” Logan stuck to a very strict schedule, whether or not he had work. He closed himself off in his bedroom at 10:30 pm and always got up at 7:00 am. When Logan had work he would leave at 7:30 am. It was 7:12. Logan should be sitting at the table, reading his book. Maybe his work needed him early today. Patton tapped the counter. Logan had also been up late for some reason. Had Logan slept in? That would be a surprise. Walking to the door across from the kitchen Patton knocked. He didn’t even the slightest movement, Logan had to have left already. Patton could make a special dinner instead, thought they had had a special dinner last night for Roman. He stretched, feeling the excitement of a good dream wearing off and realizing he was still a bit tired and drained. Patton was disappointed that Logan wasn’t here. He really had wanted to thank him first thing in the morning, but he wouldn’t let that get him down. Patton had nothing planned today, which meant that it was full of possibilities.

He could call his mother today, see how she was doing, maybe he could even meet up with one of his old friends from college. Patton liked that idea or even the idea of just going to help out at the animal shelter. It had been so long since he had done something just to make himself happy. He still wanted to make pancakes today.

Halfway through making Pancakes, Virgil came out of his room, Patton waved. “Want to come and eat with me Kiddo?”

“No, I need to hurry to work.”  
“You really shouldn’t be skipping breakfast.”

“I’ll make sure I eat a big lunch.” He said as he waved. “Bye pop-tart.” Virgil smiled and teased before closing the door.

“Hey I’m not tart, I’m super sweet!” He smiled as he watched Virgil leave. At least his dark strange son was in a much better mood, and he was so proud of that dad and breakfastthemed nickname.

Setting himself a plate Patton sat down with his pancakes. He really had started to think of his roommates as a family, but he was worried that they might not feel the same. They had only been roommates for 10 weeks.

“Padre, do you not have work today?”

“No, I have a few days off.” He smiled happily as Roman waltzed into the room.

“Wonderful! I don’t work until later and I thought I should go congratulate my brother.”

“That’s great Roman!”

“Yes, though, I’m not really excited about seeing him but I figured you were right. I need to support him. If I want to be a hero, I can’t act like a villain.”

Patton smiled. “I’m really proud of you Kiddo.”

“Patton these pancakes look delicious.”

Roman smiled and sat down, eating breakfast with Patton and talking about their plans for the day. When Roman decided to leave, it left the house feeling empty. Patton sighed, there was no singing from Roman’s room or the sound of computer keys from Logan’s, but he had time to do some deep cleaning that he had been neglecting. Patton just had to busy himself. He hung up ‘family’ pictures, deep cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, and mopped the kitchen floor. It was beginning to feel like home. Happy with what he had accomplished, Patton sighed and sat on the

couch. It was just past noon, and his mother would be up by now. Pulling out his phone, he called his mother. This had been a good day, he was so excited to tell her about it.

“Hi mama bear,” He said happily, curling up on the couch. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

“Of course I have my little Patton Cake,” but her voice was heavy. She was forcing herself to sound happy. He could tell.

“Really, because it sounds like something is going on.”

“Oh, baby, you always can see right through me. Mamabear is fine, she is just enjoying a little bit of depression.” His mother didn’t like to say she suffered from it because it made her feel broken somehow.

“Do you want me to come visit? You know I will do anything for you.” “No, it’s okay snuggly bear, you have your own life now.”

She was trying to be strong again. “I’ll be over in less than an hour.” He smiled weakly, already getting up and grabbing his keys.

“Well only if you are sure.”

“I’m sure.” He hung up the phone. It looked like he wasn’t going to have time to go play with the dogs. That was okay, his mother was much more important. Getting his stuff together he left the house. At least he had a clean house to come home to. That would be nice. Patton kept a smile on his face. He needed to be strong for his mother.


	8. Chapter 8

Virgil shot awake. Panic gripped him as he looked around the room. This wasn’t his room. The bed was perfectly arranged, and he could smell books. He slowly looked up at the ceiling. This was Logan’s room. The ceiling was painted to resemble a swirling galaxy. Did the stars actually sparkle? When had Logan had time to paint this? Had he painted this? “Logan, what time is it?” He turned, and looked at the studious man, typing away at his keyboard.

“It is 6:17, I was going to wake you in 3 minutes. I did not want to bother you while you were resting. I was also finishing up a work project. However, we both need to eat a proper meal at an appropriate time."

“Sorry I fell asleep on you?”

“I am rather appreciative that you fell asleep. I have noticed that your sleeping patterns are not consistently healthy, it is best that you sleep when you can. Also, if I remember correctly, moments of high stress, such as panic or anxiety attacks, cause mild exhaustion.”

At first, Virgil felt his back stiffen. He was ready to defend himself but realized Logan was just worried. He was a strange man.

“I sleep enough.” Virgil just shrugged like it was no big deal.

“I’m sure you know your own body better than I do. However, I severely doubt that you sleep the recommended amount for a fully functioning adult.” He stood and closed his laptop before turning to Virgil. “Shall we share a meal?”

“Yeah, well you don’t either teach.” Virgil said, shoving his hands into his pockets, “And, careful with how you phrase things, teach. That almost sounds like an invitation to a date.”

“I have come to learn that my phrasing of certain words is less than ideal. Still, it confounds me how my words could possibly be misinterpreted. I choose each word with care to properly convey my point.” Logan rubbed his face, trying to calm himself down. “If I were to ask anyone on a date, I would ask them clearly and appropriately. Poor communication is not a proper way to start off a relationship.”

Virgil chuckled. “Well, we can’t all be that smooth Spock.”

“Spock?” Logan turned to look at Virgil, his brow furrowed and his eyes dusted with confusion behind his glasses.

“Yeah, you know, from Star Trek.”

“I am well aware of who Spock is. Though, it is your choice of character that has me surprised. I have just found when comparing me to a character of that genre, normally, I am compared to Data, not Spock.”

“Yeah, well I don’t believe it. The emotionless... what’s the word... facade.” He waved his hand around as he found the word. “You care for us in your own unique way.”

Logan’s surprise only grew. Virgil shrugged, shoving his hand in his pocket.

“Look, I won’t call you that if you don’t want me to, but from what I have seen, you have a lot of emotions you just aren’t ready to deal with. I get that. Emotions suck, but they can be useful.” Virgil’s bangs fell into his face as he led the way out of the room. “I don’t know too much about the show, but Data probably wouldn’t have helped like you did. So, I didn’t mean anything bad by it.” He was beginning to freak out again when Logan’s voice broke through the noise in his head.

“Virgil, I don’t mind.” He closed the door behind him. Though data was his favorite, he had identified a lot more with Spock in recent years, especially after the break-up. He was just surprised that someone would actually equate him to the Vulcan who fought against his own emotions. “Patton has been teaching me how to cook, shall I make dinner?”

“Sure, and I’ll teach you some slang. Your grammar is great, but slang is important in communication as well.”

Logan nodded. He understood the argument that slang, being a new addition to their current culture’s lexicon, was just as important to learn. He had never had much of an opportunity. “That seems agreeable.”

~~~

“What is Gucci, thot.”

Roman stood in the entryway, his mouth slightly agape as he looked at Logan. He had not expected to hear Logan’s, almost monotone, voice call out that statement. For a few moments, they all stood in confused silence. It broke when Virgil began howling with laughter from the couch, unable to get control of himself.

“That was perfect, Lo.” He somehow managed in between gasps for air.

“Do not listen to him!” Roman huffed, throwing his bag towards Virgil on the couch. “You should never use that word. It is crass.”

“Which word, Gucci?” “No, the other one.”

“Virgil told me it meant a thoughtful person, and you would appreciate it,” with that Virgil’s laughter roared through the house again.

“I’m so sorry Lo. I lied, just a little bit, only for that one. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t wait to see Roman’s face.”

“Maybe it would be best I created flashcards. I find I am able to study much better that way.”

“Welcome home princey.”

“What did you do to him?”

Virgil couldn’t help but let out another laugh as he leaned against the back of the couch. “I’m teaching him slang, and he is teaching me about the stars.”

“And are you drunk?” Roman sounded beyond offended, and Virgil just shook his head.

“No,” he hid his face behind the sleeve of his hoodie, “but, Logan and I have been hanging out. So, I’m in a good mood. I'm allowed to happy every once in a while.”

“Alright,” he drew the word out. “Well, if that is all, I would like to go into my room and drown my sorrows in Disney movies. Today was a hard day, culminating in my roommate calling me a thot.” He shot Virgil a mildly angry glance.

“I’m sorry, come here Romanoff. We will watch movies together, just like the family Patton wants us to be.” Where was Patton? He hadn’t responded to Virgil's text. Logan had been a good distraction. Roman was home safe now as well. Patton was still missing. Suddenly Virgil felt his anxiety spiking once again.

“First off, Romanoff is from Anastasia, which is not a Disney movie, and I am offended. Secondly, are you sure you aren’t drunk Evil step Virgil.” His voice didn't hold his normal malice. He genuinely sounded teasing and playful. Roman made his way to the couch and flopped onto it, earning him a swift, but gentle, punch from Virgil “Where is Patton by the way? I figured he would be here since he had the day off.”

“I don’t know, I texted him but he hasn’t responded.” Virgil’s shoulders tensed as he looked down at his phone. He put it under his leg, biting his lip as his leg began to bounce a bit. He was trying not to focus on it. It was probably fine. Patton was probably out with a friend. “Since you had such a bad day why don’t you choose the movie?” He needed a distraction before this all started again.

“Really?” Roman’s eyes lit up, “Well, I really wanted to rewatch Coco in Spanish... we can put on the subtitles if you two are okay with that?”

Virgil looked at Roman and his dashing smile. His eyes were pleading. Had he learned how to do that from Patton? “Fine, Fine.” Virgil waved his hand back and forth. “I think it’s weird, but if Logan is fine with it than I am as well. Wait you know Spanish?”

“Of course, it is the language of love.” Roman flipped his hair and went to get the DVD.

While he was gone Virgil pulled out his phone again. No new messages. What was going on? Where was Patton?


	9. Chapter 9

As Virgil entered the house, he felt his anxiety immediately rise. His hands shook and he grabbed his phone tightly as an anchor. The house was empty. No food smell. No music. No lights.

_They don’t want to be around me._

No, they care for me.

_Then why aren’t they here?_

Everyone is allowed to have their own lives.

_What if something had happened to them?_

It’s not likely that something happened to all of them, one of them would have texted me.

_Logan doesn’t like any of you, he probably found a new apartment._

He is a straightforward person. He would have told us if he was looking for a new place.

_What if Roman had gotten mugged?_

He is strong and would have gotten help.

_What if Patton had gotten into a car accident?_

That last thought pushed Virgil over the edge. He could feel his throat closing up. Closing his eyes he tried to go through his breathing exercises. “Calm yourself Virgil, deep breaths.” He could hear his own choked voice echoing in his head. Virgil looked at his phone in his shaking hands. The group chat, he could just message all of them.

What if I am just annoying them? What if they hate me and are too kind to say it? His own thoughts were against him.

He took another breath shakily, finally flipping on a light and looking back at his phone. He would text Patton. Even if Patton hated him he would never say it. Patton was too kind. It was just one text, and they were friends, right?

‘Hey no one is home u ok’ He texted and held his phone up to his lips and began to pace. He held his hand in front of his face. He was shaking. He couldn’t control it. Had the air always been so thick? Seconds. Minutes. No response. Virgil gagged on his own throat. He couldn’t breathe. He needed to get rid of this nervous energy.

The front door opened. He felt the crisp air like it was the first breath he had had in a while. He let out a small squeak.

“Virgil?” Logan asked quietly. “You look-”

“I’m fine.” Almost dropping his phone, Virgil stopped pacing. At least one of them was home, he backed up from the entrance to let Logan in. Virgil wasn’t alone. The house wasn’t empty. The world was still shaking.

Logan watched him carefully. He wanted to offer his help but thoughts from last night surfaced. He wasn’t needed. This time Logan didn’t offer to help. It had been shown to him time and time again that he was not the person to go to for bouts of emotional stress.

“Very well, are the others not home?” He asked.

“No.” Virgil put on a mask of anger, but his voice cracked as he hid his face behind his sleeves.

Logan did not understand what was going on. In the course of two minutes, Virgil’s expression had changed three times. “I am going to my room.” He began to walk off but Virgil grabbed the bottom his shirt. This sudden interaction made Logan stop, confused. Looking back at Virgil he watched as the anxious man let go. His knuckles were white from how tightly he gripped his phone.

“S...sorry. Instinct.”

Logan had to do something. “Follow me.” He needed to help. He wanted to help. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to help.

“I don’t need your help.”

“I did not state that you required assistance.”

Virgil followed behind Logan, fighting the urge to grab Logan’s shirt again. He didn’t want to be alone. He was probably bothering Logan but, just having someone near him helped keep the thoughts at bay. As the stony individual sat down at his desk, Virgil sat on the bed.

“Logan, your room is almost as dark as mine is.” If he tried to make jokes, he might be able to push it back. Virgil flopped onto the bed. The tremors in Virgil’s hands wouldn’t go away. Once again he gripped his phone tighter, his tether to reality.

“Sunlight can be damaging to the integrity of both books and computers, not to mention if I allow the direct sunlight to heat up my room it becomes unbearable to be in.”

“That makes sense.” This is what he needed, a distraction, words. He had to keep Logan talking. What were things he could see? “You have so many textbooks, wasn’t this hard to move in?” His voice wavered, but Logan didn’t comment on it. They could just ignore this. Five things, the textbooks, the dark blue walls, the starry ceiling, Logan’s computer, Logan.

“The boxes were heavy to carry but I am quite used to that weight. I had them organized inside of the boxes so it was not a laborious task to reconstruct my old organizational system.”

“The only weight I am used to carrying is the weight of my sins.” His fingers ran over the comforter on the bed, then his phone, his sleeves... what else? What else? Virgil reached up and touched his hair, pulling at it gently.

Logan stopped typing and turned to Virgil. “Sins don’t have a measurable weight.” His eyes watched as Virgil gently pulled his hair. He wanted to ask. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t.

“Yeah, I know... it’s a joke about how something like that weighs on your mind.” He could hear Logan. He could hear the fan on the computer. He could hear his breath, slowly stabilizing.

Logan’s frown deepened. “There are so many things that I am not knowledgeable about.”

“What are you talking about Logan, you are, like, the smartest person I know?” Two things he could smell. He could smell the books. He could... what else? “L...logan, do you have like a candle I could smell, or y’know, just something with a strong scent.”

Logan looked confused but got into his desk drawer and pulled out a tin of mints. “Will this suffice?”

“Yes. Yes, thank you.” Virgil took the tin and took in a deep breath. Without asking he popped one into his mouth. He could taste the mint. “T...thanks.”

“Of course.” Logan took the tin back but hesitated in asking his question. “Virgil,” His voice fell as he became more serious. “Do you experience panic attacks?”

Embarrassment flushed over his face as Virgil nodded. He still didn’t have control. “I was studying a little bit about emotions. Do you need any assistance?”

“You helped more than you know. Sorry I snapped earlier.” He took in a deep breath, looking at his hand again. It still trembled, but he could stop it for just a moment. He was regaining control. “But what do you mean by was?” It wasn’t completely over. He needed to continue this conversation.

“It’s not a matter of importance. I simply realized it was not my field of expertise to study.”

Virgil wasn’t sure if it was Logan’s words or the sound in his voice, but something grabbed him. Like a rubber band that had been pulled too tight, he snapped back to reality. His mind had this amazing ability to push away his own issues if someone he cared about was suffering. It was a protective instinct he had developed with his brother. His mind was clear. He ignored his shaking hands. Virgil looked at Logan’s eyes. He saw it, the same look he had seen on his brother when they were younger. It was the same look he had in the mirror some days. Virgil’s lips

pursed. He wanted to ask the question but he knew he couldn’t. He would never get a straight answer. “Maybe you just need a good teacher. Since you are normally teaching us about cool stuff I can teach you about emotions if you want, or meme culture. It’s one thing I’m good at.” Both men smiled and laughed. “But in exchange, you can teach me about astronomy?” It was obvious, with one look through Logan’s room, that he enjoyed that subject, and if Logan was anything like Dee, he needed a distraction as well.

A small smile flittered onto Logan’s lips before he shoved it away and nodded. “I do not believe I have the adequate tools to teach you but I would happily discuss it with you and explain what I know about the subject.”

“Alright astro-nut, tell me about space.” Virgil got an excited look on his face. His breath had evened out; his hands weren’t shaking. He was exhausted, but he could hold it together. He could focus on the stars. He could focus on Logan.

“I am already regretting this.” Logan sighed, but there was a slight smile in his eyes. He began to tell Virgil everything he knew about space. Virgil smiled into the sleeve of his hoodie as he listened. Logan lit up as he spoke about the stars and the different galaxies. Virgil stayed attentive for a while, but eventually, his eyes began to slide close and he found himself falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

00:58

Virgil looked down at the time on his phone as he sat on the couch. Logan and Roman had gone to bed almost three hours ago. Virgil had tried as well, but couldn’t sleep while Patton still wasn’t home. Checking his phone again there still was not a message from their paternal

roommate. Patton was a very considerate person. He always let them know when he would be late. Most of the time, he shared too much information to the group chat. It was unlike him to go completely dark for this long.

Virgil was almost to the point of calling the hospitals. What if Patton had been caught in a car accident and was all alone right now? He didn’t want to lose a second father figure to a car crash. They weren’t actually a family though. It wasn’t really his place to check in on Patton though. Virgil began to rub at his arms. Was he overstepping boundaries? Before his thoughts could spiral further, he heard the front door creak open. A sigh of relief left his lips as he saw Patton walking in. Something was wrong, Virgil knew it, but the flood of endorphins that went through his system made it hard for him to think about. Patton wasn’t smiling, but he was alive.

“Patton?” Virgil asked quietly as he began to get up.

The tired man did his best to straighten his shoulders and put on a smile. “Kiddo, what are you doing still awake?”

“Waiting for you.”

“Awe you didn’t have to do that Verge.”

“I know, but you didn’t respond to my text. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry buddy, I didn’t realize you had sent me a text.”

“It’s fine, are you okay popstar?”

“Yeah Kiddo, I’m fine. Do you mind if I hug you though?” Though Patton was aware that Virgil was not a physically affectionate person, he really just needed a hug right now.

“Just this once.” Virgil opened up his arms so that Patton could hug him. The two stood that way for a while until Patton felt the heavy weight of Virgil’s head on his shoulder. It had been an exhausting week but, he couldn’t help but be thankful that he had roommates who cared about him.

“Thanks, Verge. You really lift me up you sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling.” Virgil looked up at Patton confused, finally pulling away. “What?”

“Sorry, I’m just tired.” He pulled Virgil back in for a short hug “Last hug,” Patton finally pulled away and gave Virgil a weak smile. “You should head to bed now kiddo, you have work in the morning.”

“Yeah, alright, I’ll see you in the morning, Pat.”

Virgil walked to his room before shutting his door. Patton still felt drained, but the hug really did make him feel better. He appreciated that Virgil was always worried about others. He had to try to be more mindful though. Reaching for the cookie jar on the table Patton saw a note written in perfectly legible handwriting.

_‘Patton,_

_I have left a portion of dinner, specifically set aside for you, in the fridge. I would suggest eating only a small portion of it if you are hungry when you get home as eating too much before bed can cause you to interrupt your circadian rhythms with digestion. Otherwise, it can be heated up tomorrow for your lunch._

_Logan.’_

Patton’s smile grew, though it still held exhaustion behind it. He was indeed blessed to have people who cared about him. Pulling ‘dinner’ out he ate a little bit of it before putting it back away. Logan had done a good job cooking on his own. Hopefully, he would still get the chance to teach Logan to cook. He had really enjoyed it.


	11. Chapter 11

Things had once again calmed down when Patton went back to work. The four of them had fallen back into their comfortable routine. Patton went back to cooking most days, and Virgil insisted they set up a chore chart for everything else since Patton was already doing so much for the house. That being done, it was Virgil’s day to do the dishes and clean the kitchen after dinner. He wasn’t looking forward to it.

“We have discussed this before. I no longer belong to you, and you no longer have the right to a connection with me. Cease and desist, or I will be forced to get authorities involved.” There was only one person Virgil knew who spoke like that. Sure enough, as he rounded the corner, he saw Logan talking to another man. Something was obviously wrong. Immediately, the man’s stance made Virgil uncomfortable. Logan looked defensive and the other man, who was shorter than Logan, stalked towards him. It probably didn’t help that Virgil had never seen Logan this riled up.

“Lo-lo” The other man cooed. “I’m just worried about you.” He reached out, gently running a hand over Logan’s face. His hand was quickly slapped away. “You always were so cold when I tried to show you affection.” He grabbed Logan’s tie and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. This wasn’t right, all of the warning bells were going off in Virgil’s Head, but his feet were screwed to the ground.

Logan yanked back but was caught but the tight grip on his tie. “I am not giving you any further sway on my emotions and my life.” His voice dropped to a cold and icy tone that sent a shiver ran up Virgil’s spine. At this point, he was afraid of Logan, but he realized three fundamental truths. Logan was his friend and didn’t deserve this treatment. Logan’s fists were balled as if he was ready to start a fight. Logan didn’t have to fight alone anymore. Virgil forced his feet forward.

“Logan, someone you know?” That sounded stupid, but he had to make his presence known.

“An acquaintance from college, but he was just leaving.” Logan yanked his tie out of the shorter man’s hands.

For just a moment, this new person’s eyes filled with anger. He was quick to compose himself. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After taking a moment to compose himself, he almost appeared kind. “Pleasure to meet a friend of Logan’s, I’m Lewis.” He held out a hand.

Virgil shook it, but he knew a liar when he saw one.

“You don’t have to be so mean with your introduction, Lo-Lo. We were friends once. I was hoping we could be friends again.” He shrugged, “I’ll leave you for now. I wish you wouldn’t be so cold, but I love you for it, and we deserve each other.” Lewis gave Virgil a soft smile before turning and leaving.

The silence between them was thick until Lewis was out of sight. Virgil finally turned to Logan, who had an unreadable expression on his face. “Man, that guy is an asshole.”

Silence. Had he said the wrong thing? Was that not helpful?

Logan chuckled weakly. “Yeah, He is.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but it was a step in the right direction.

“Let me text Patton, we can go for a walk.”  
“Virgil, I do not have the particular energy to discuss this.”

“You don’t have to, and I’m not going to push you, but going for a walk helps,” Virgil said, adjusting his bag and pulling out his phone. He texted Patton quickly and led Logan off towards the park, the opposite direction where Lewis had gone.

The two of them walked in comfortable silence, heading slowly down the street. For a while, it was just enough for Logan. The quiet companionship was pleasant, but it left room for Logan’s dark thoughts to come back. He let out a shaky breath.

_“You are so cold, you’re lucky I love you.”_

_“You look exhausted all the time. Are you not sleeping well? Why won’t you share what you are going through with me?”_

_“Have you been stress eating? You have gained a bit of weight, I'm worried about you." “I am always here for you. I’m the only one who will be there for you.”_

_“I have done everything for you. I accept you at your worst. I put up with all of your emptiness. Yet you have the gall to try to break up with me? You need me.”_

The words rattled around his head, fighting against his will to push them back. Two years of progress, two years of fighting, two years of freedom, yet one appearance was all it took. How had he been found again? He had moved from California to Florida, he had even changed his last name. How had Lewis tracked him down? Logan could already feel the doubt creeping up his back. The lightning buzzed around his body and with another jolt, and Logan stopped walking.

Virgil looked back. Logan had his slender fingers dug into his arm, standing like a statue.

“Logan,” Virgil said, not touching him yet.

“Logan!” He snapped twice in front of Logan, who finally pulled out of his trance.

“Yes, Virgil.” His arm relaxed a bit, and he began to focus on Virgil. “I am sorry Virgil, I got lost in my thoughts.”

“Yeah, no shit. I know I said I wasn’t going to make you talk about it but can I ask you a question?”

“Obviously you are able to.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

"There is nothing wrong with being 5x5."

"Vocab word, nice, but you are avoiding my question."

Logan sighed, “You are welcome to ask whatever question you can think of, but I reserve the right not to answer it.”

“You know you are not alone, right?”

“Virgil, this is the second time you have asked me a question with an obvious answer. We are standing right next to each other.”

“Again, that’s not what I meant Grammarly.” Virgil resisted the urge to rub his eyes in exasperation. Sometimes, he wondered if Logan did this just to be a jerk, or if it was a coping mechanism. “Let me rephrase that.” He cleared his throat and did his best impression of Logan. “You are aware, that you are not alone in your struggles against your own thoughts. I am fairly experienced in the subject, and would like to be of assistance.” He gently punched Logan in the arm. “My thoughts can also get pretty dark. You aren't alone in experiencing them.”

“Oh.” Logan hesitated, trying to process everything Virgil had said. “They are illogical thoughts. I do my best to ignore them.”

“Yeah, but they still start to drag you down.”  
Logan hesitated but began nodding gently.  
“So, if you are willing to continue this honesty, what are the thoughts?”

Logan really wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue this honesty. This situation was beyond what he understood when it came to emotions. Then again if he wanted to share with anyone, it would be Virgil. He knew Virgil understood. “Please do not discuss anything we that has happened today with Patton, or Roman for that matter.”

It was Virgil’s chance to hesitantly nod. "I can promise that, as long as you promise to come to me when these thoughts get hard."

He was playing a dangerous game now, but he once again agreed. “I assume that these are fairly normal thoughts amongst people who have these... intrusions.”

“What was the first thought that came to your head when you began to spiral a few minutes ago.”

They began walking again. Logan had seen the frustration on Virgil’s face when he corrected him the first two times, so he resisted the urge this time. “I was remembering a time when Lewis told me, ‘You are so cold, you’re lucky I love you.’ I came to understand that he meant cold emotionally, not physically, but no matter what expression of affection I attempted, it never seemed enough.”

“It shows that you were trying. I know you have had work early the past few days, so you don’t get to see it, but Patton has been talking my ear off about how kind and thoughtful you are. You aren’t cold Logan, you are shy. And no one is lucky to be loved by an abusive asshole. Your

feelings are real, and they are valid, but those words are not. We care about you Logan, and we love you. What was next?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He thought Patton had not wanted his help, but Patton had actually talked about things he had done? It made Logan feel better. He didn't want to focus on the rest for now. He was just glad he hadn't screwed up with Patton. “What did Patton say?”

“What?” Virgil stopped walking.

“You said that Patton was talking about me, what did he say specifically?”

Virgil furrowed his brow as he concentrated. “He was talking about you covering him with a blanket while he slept, and when you cooked dinner that night he was gone. Patton said you wrote him a note with instructions on how to properly eat it. He thought it was super thoughtful.” Turning to look at Logan, Virgil saw a rare sight, he was blushing lightly.

“I am glad I was able to help a bit, even if he didn’t want it.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. They would address more of that later. “What are some of the other things?”

“Is this really helpful Virgil?”

“We are going to go through all of your negative thoughts, we are going to go through your logical reasoning and examine if they are true. Then we are going to set up a support structure for the next time you have these thoughts.”

“And how do you know this will work?”

“Because it’s what my therapist and I discussed. Though, I’m sure he is a lot kinder about it than I am. You might benefit from therapy, but that’s your choice. On the flip side of that, you are my friend, and I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

Logan rubbed the back of his head, “That is preposterous.”

"Which part, that you need therapy, or that you are my friend?" They continued to walk around the city for a while longer before returning home.

"The section of your statement regarding therapy."

"I think everyone could benefit from therapy, just like everyone can benefit from a yearly check-up at the doctors."

He went silent for a little bit. “Thank you, Virgil.” They continued to walk around the city for a while longer before returning home.

“Virge, Logi, is that you?” Patton called. He rushed over and when he saw them he hugged both of them. “I made spaghetti and garlic bread.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Yes, thank you, Patton. I’m going to put down my bag in my room, then we can all have a nice family dinner.”

Patton smiled brightly. “Okay, Kiddo!”


	12. Chapter 12

After Patton, Logan, and Virgil had had their Friday family dinner, Patton packed up some food to take to Roman. He was excited to see Roman and meet his theater friends. It had been hard seeing their theatrical roommate since he had been so busy with the play. Patton knew that this was what Roman wanted; he desperately dreamed of being on a stage. Though Patton wished he could hang out with Roman more, at least he was happy. With the thermal bag packed, he walked out of the house and headed to the bus stop.

Roman was at the downtown theater, it was a 20-minute drive by bus with another 5-minute walk. The theater had always been shared by two theatrical companies. One rehearsed during the early hours of the day, and the other rehearsed during the evenings. Both companies had a bit of a rivalry, but they had found a way to coexist. The town was not big enough for a second theater, but the companies could not agree on a preferred format for theatrical performances. The thought made Patton smile, just like Roman and his brother the two companies were two halves of the same coin, like the comedy and tragedy masks. Roman, hoping beyond all hope for a happy ending, and his brother, though Patton had only limited knowledge on him, seemed the type to be desperate for a tale of tragedy and trauma.

Though Patton was the only one in the group who owned a car, he didn’t like to use it unless they were going outside of the city. He waited patiently by the bus stop, taking in the lovely night. It had been expensive to afford a car but he had needed it, just in case something was wrong with his mother. He didn’t want to have to pay the extra cost of gas and car maintenance when public transportation in their city was fairly good.

Not to mention, Patton was enjoyed meeting new people and listening to their stories. More often than not, trips were uneventful, but sometimes he met interesting people. He had made more than a few friends just by being kind.

Today, however, was uneventful. There were very few people on the bus and they were all occupied with their own activities. Everything was calm and quiet as Patton watched the city pass by. He was glad he had moved out here, and he was glad he had been able to meet his roommates. He loved them all deeply and wanted to see them happy. Logan was smart and curious, Virgil was cautious and realistic, and Roman was creative and spontaneous. Patton’s life had gotten a lot more fun with the three of them in it.

When he got close to the theater, he could feel his excitement swell. Patton jumped off the bus and walked to the theater. His timing couldn’t have been more perfect. He arrived just in time for the director to be releasing the actors on a break and when Roman saw Patton he waved and smiled.

“Padre, you really did bring me dinner.”  
“Of course, what kind of father doesn’t keep his promise!”

“You are so wonderful Pat! Let me introduce you to everyone, or at least the cool people,” He teased. Excited energy fell off Roman in waves and it made Patton smile. “This is Edmond and Mercedes.” The two were running lines together but waved to the pair as they walked by.

Patton waved back before being pulled off. “This is Remy, he does set design.” “Sup babycakes.”  
“Pleasure to meet you.”  
“And this over here is Lewis, he is playing Harold, the lead in the play.”

“Hello, Lewis.” Patton smiled and Lewis smiled back. Patton believed there was good in everyone, and he was not one to doubt someone he just met, but there was something in that smile that Patton couldn’t identify. He didn’t like it.

“Roman, you didn’t tell me that your roommate was so handsome.” Lewis was a bit short but he had the same kind of room-filling confidence that Roman had. Something in his smile told Patton that Lewis knew what he wanted and he was more than willing to do what he needed to get it. “Are all three of them this handsome? You can’t keep secrets like this from me.”

“How am I supposed to know,” Roman laughed, “after all, who could be more handsome than me?”

“You are the most handsome prince around,” Patton chirped. “I do think that Logan and Virgil are handsome in their own ways.”

Lewis smiled, “Well, hopefully, I will meet them at the show. Roman has not stopped talking about all of his wonderful roommates.” His tone was less playful and more mean. Maybe Patton was just reading too much into things.

“I’m sure you will, we are all so excited to see Roman perform. We just know he is going to be great.” His arms wrapped around Roman protectively. Thankfully Roman didn’t seem to think this was off. Patton had been a physically affectionate person since they first met.

“Of course I am going to be great! I am amazing.” Roman smiled, ruffling Pat’s hair a bit. He enjoyed Patton’s embrace but felt a bit self-conscious about it at the moment. “But it is so nice to have someone in my corner.”

“We will always be in your corner Roman!” Patton watched Roman flinch. Had he shouted too loudly?

“I have to head out now.” Patton gave Roman a tight hug, “I’ll see you when you get home tonight. Be safe!” He didn’t want to stick around if he was making Roman uncomfortable. Also, Patton had a hard time shaking the feeling that there was something off about Lewis. The last thing he ever wanted to be was judgemental. He wanted to see the best in people. Maybe he just needed some rest. It had been busy this past month. Patton nodded, agreeing that he needed to rest and not let a snap judgment prevent Roman from making a friend. He couldn’t judge Lewis before he even got to know him.

“I will Padre!” Roman popped open the food that Patton had brought him. His eyes sparkled happily as he dug the fork out of the bag. It smelled delicious. Before Patton was out of the door, Roman had a forkful coming to his mouth.

“Speaking of food,” Lewis’ voice was soft and gentle. It was one of the things Roman thought was amazing about his co-actor. He had amazing range and mastery over his voice. “I normally cook on Fridays since I don’t have work. I’ve been trying some new recipes but I judge my own cooking so harshly.” Lewis looked at the spaghetti that Patton had brought. “Do you think I could bring you dinner on Fridays? If it’s not too much of a problem.” He sounded so shy about his request, like a damsel trying to impress her prince.

“Well, Patton was planning on bringing me food every Friday.” He looked regretfully at the food. He wanted to help Lewis out, but he enjoyed seeing Patton.

“I understand, I really do.” Lewis rubbed the back of his neck as if he was nervous about his words. “I was just hoping to get a second opinion. I’m sure Patton’s cooking is probably better anyway.”

“Well, maybe...”

“If you wanted me to, I’m coming to practice anyway, right? This way, Patton doesn’t have to make the trip down here. You told me he is always helping around the house. He is probably really stressed. It would be nice to give him some of that time right? And I don’t mind cooking for you, it’s kind of a passion of mine. My ex never helped with the meals so I kind of got used to doing all of the work myself and I learned to love it.”

Surely Patton wouldn’t mind, right? He would enjoy being able to be at home with Logan and Virgil, watching Disney movies and such. Roman was thinking about it, but something else caught his attention. “Why did your ex not help?” Roman asked in between bites.

“Well, he was constantly making the excuse, like he had too much homework to do, or that he was tired, but so was I. I always gave in though, I loved him. He also said that he wasn’t good at cooking and preferred when I cooked.” He smiled sadly, “I put a lot of effort into keeping us together, but I think it might have been good for us to break up. I’m doing much better now.”

Roman picked up on the fact that Lewis had said ‘he’. That wasn’t really a surprise but it was nice to actually know. “That does sound a little toxic. I am glad you are in a better place, Lewis. A handsome prince like you deserves a prince that will treat him well in kind.”

Something flashed through Lewis’ eyes, but Roman was to focused on the pasta to notice. “Thanks, so about dinner?”

“Oh, of course! I believe Patton will understand. If you want to practice your craft I will happily assist you on this quest!” How could he say no? Lewis was recovering from a bad relationship and had found something beautiful out of it. How could he not encourage that form of self-discovery?

“You are fantastic, Roman. Let me go grab my food and I’ll join you.” Lewis frowned after he turned his back to Roman. He had not appreciated Roman’s crack about Logan being toxic. Only Lewis was allowed to talk about his boyfriend like that. He would stand it for now, because he needed Roman to help him get Logan back.


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey, Kiddos! I’m back.” Patton called. He was going to head directly to his room, but he noticed Logan’s door was open. Logan never had his door open, and Patton couldn’t help but be mildly curious.

“Welcome back Pat,” Virgil called from inside Logan’s room. Patton’s curiosity tripled.

“What are you two doin in there?” Patton bounced over to the room, looking around. “Oh wow, your room is so pretty Logan.” Though it was too dark for his taste. “Look at that painting on the ceiling. Did you paint it yourself?”

“No, I do not have any artistic abilities. I hired someone from my college. He has quite a talent for painting, though he does have a mild obsession with caffeine. As for what Virgil and I were discussing, it has been a simple discussion regarding the celestial bodies.”

“That’s cool.” Patton’s brow furrowed.  
Seeing Patton’s confusion, Virgil smirked, “he was teaching me about space.”

“I don’t believe I could call it teaching, as I have stated, I don’t have the credentials for that moniker, however, I was discussing some of my favorite galaxies and their inhabitants.”

Patton’s eyes lit up. “Can I join?”  
“Are you certain you have any interest in this topic?” Logan asked a bit confused.

“Nope, but I really want to hear you talk about something you are passionate about.” He flopped onto the bed next to Virgil, causing Virgil to bounce a bit.

“That is illogical Patton. If you have no interest in the topic, why would you want to listen to me speak about it?”

“Because it’s something that makes you happy.” Patton’s smile was so bright, so caring.

Logan could hear Lewis’ voice in his ear, ‘Darling, I know you love astronomy, but I find it rather boring, can we talk about something else?’ It made him nervous. He was trying to be a good roommate, he didn’t want to push Patton away. Logan gripped his arm for just a moment.

This was illogical. He took in a deep breath and released his arm. Patton had asked. They were all aware of Logan’s proclivity towards honest conversation. Logan could only assume they would return the favor and be honest with him, and Patton had asked.

Both men were sitting on the bed looking at him expectantly. Logan pushed up his glasses, despite them already being properly affixed, and he continued to talk about space. Occasionally, Virgil would stop Logan to ask questions, but Patton just listened with that childish grin on his face. It unsettled Logan. How could Patton be so happy when he had no interest in the subject? Logan was afraid to believe Patton was content just listening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is super short, but that's because the next chapter is going to be a lot longer. Let me know what you think so far!


	14. Chapter 14

**22:30 (10:30pm)**

“Thank you for your company tonight Virgil. It was quite invigorating to talk about the methyl alcohol clouds beyond our solar system. Many people believe the subject to be dull but I think it is fascinating.” It was nice to have someone who actually enjoyed listening to ramble about his passions. Their nightly chats had become something Logan looked forward to. No longer did they hide in Logan’s room, but instead sat in the living room discussing space, pop culture, or sometimes, when Patton was home cartoons and animals. Though these conversations weren’t always intellectually stimulating, Logan couldn’t help but smile at the way Patton talked about his favorite things. He was beginning to understand what Patton had meant a few weeks ago when he had said ‘I really want to hear you talk about something you are passionate about.’ Recently, anytime he felt he was talking too much about himself or his own interest, whenever Lewis’ voice played in his head, reminding him he wasn’t interesting, Logan replayed Patton’s words.

Patton was not here tonight. Virgil and Logan had sat alone discussing the formation of alcohol clouds in space, a subject that absolutely fascinated Logan. “It was cool to hear you talk about it, Teach.” Virgil stood and stretched his arms. “Who knew there were giant floating alcohol clouds in space. Though I didn’t understand half of the stuff you said about how the molecules form and something about simple compounds and stuff, but it was still cool to listen. I have been enjoying our talks.” Virgil felt the need to remind Logan of that fact. He was beginning to understand how much Logan had sealed himself off before, and he wanted Logan to feel safe with them.

“As have I.” They had come to an understanding, that any conversation they had needed to end at 10:30, and it had just passed 10:30 a moment ago. This deadline gave Logan the proper amount of time to get ready for bed and still get up at a decent hour of the morning. Usually, it was not an issue to abide by this rule, however, there were occasions when Virgil would be deep-set into a panic attack and time was no longer a concern on Logan’s radar.

The other instances where they had trouble keeping to their set schedule, was when Patton was home. He was simply an unending source of optimism and positivity, and it was difficult to tell him that they all needed to stop and go to bed.

“Though I know it is I who set this schedule,” Logan said, turning to face Virgil, “I forgot to ask. Has everything been alright? We figuratively jumped into our conversation tonight, I forgot to ask about my observations from earlier in the week.” He was willing to go to bed a few minutes later today. Logan wanted to make sure his friend was okay.

“Is my lack of sleep that noticeable?”

“Maybe not too many, but I pride myself in my perceptive abilities, fam.”

Virgil chuckled. It was still weird to hear Logan try to use slang. “Yeah, it’s really not that big of a deal. I haven’t heard from my brother in a few days and it has me worried. We have a three-day rule though, so I’m sure he will message me by tonight.”

Logan nodded, satisfied with that answer. “Well, I do not have work tomorrow. If your brother does not contact you and you feel the need for human interaction, please know my door is figuratively open to you.”

Virgil smirked. “Thanks.” With that, they both returned to their rooms, doors closing for the first time in hours. It was obvious that something had changed in the house. Bedroom doors stayed open more often, giving the house a more inviting feeling, and even when they were closed, there was no longer a feeling of separation. At least, that was how Logan felt. He had abandoned his thought of moving away and was doing research on seeing a therapist. The thought made him uneasy at times, but Virgil continued to encourage him.

Logan was glad he had told Virgil about Lewis. Though Virgil had not done anything to fix the problem, it felt like they were getting better. Logan knew there was someone who was willing to assist him when things got too difficult, and they almost had a few times. Logan had run-ins with Lewis outside of his work and on his lunch break, but what Lewis said didn’t sting quite as deep anymore. When Patton was not around, Logan continued to talk to Virgil about the things Lewis had said, both in the past and the present. Virgil did his best to remind Logan, with facts, why each statement was false. It was a great comfort to know someone cared.

When all of his pre-sleep tasks were completed, Logan sank into his sheets, ready to have a calm night of rest.

**23:07 (11:07 pm)**

Patton finally stumbled through the door. As a manager, he was often required to stay late to make sure everything in the store was cleaned up. It was exhausting, but seeing the note left on the kitchen table always made it a little bit better. He set down his bag and went to the kitchen table, grabbing the blue sticky note he expected to see on the table.

_Patton,_

_Good evening. As always, there is food leftover in the refrigerator. I am aware that there is a possibility that you have already eaten for the night, so I have packed it in a container so that you might have it for lunch tomorrow if that would be preferable._

_Logan_

Patton smiled as he looked at the note. It was just so Logan, but he could see the outline of something on the back. Flipping it over, Patton found messy handwriting that was obviously not Logan’s.

_Logan’s cooking has gotten better. If he made a restaurant on the moon it would probably be really popular, because his food would be out of this world._

_~V_

Patton couldn’t help but laugh, a smile spread from ear to ear. Yeah, coming home to notes from his roommates definitely made staying late a lot easier. He had tomorrow off. Patton was excited to spend some time with his kiddos.

**23:46 (11:46 pm)**

Patton had come in not too long ago, but Virgil was screwed to his position on his bed, glaring down at his phone. His leg bounced wildly as he attempted to wait patiently. His brother had until midnight to call him before he was going to start investigating. Thankfully, he didn’t have to take matters into his own hands.

Virgil’s phone finally buzzed, and he picked it up on the first ring.

“That excited to hear from me?”

“You little shit,” He said, sighing with relief as he heard his brother’s voice. It didn’t seem as if he was injured, though he did seem a bit tired. Then again, it was almost midnight, it made sense to be tired. Virgil bit his lip as he tried not to overthink this. “I have been texting you for two days now. I was about ready to start calling cops.”

There was a low throaty chuckle. “Yeah, well I’m fine. Things have just been stressful here.”

There was a silence between the two. He was left alone with his thoughts, that was not a nice place to be stuck. Virgil took in a breath, ready to break the silence between them, but he heard his brother’s voice again.

“Look, it’s not like I need you or anything, but I’m going to come visit.” There was a slight crack to the way he spoke. Virgil straightened up, his leg stilling for the first time in over an hour. His brother needed him.

“Yeah, I know, you can take care of yourself. But I’m here for your asshole, just text me first. I have work tomorrow but I get off early?”

“Whatever Prefect. Send me your address again.”

Virgil pulled the phone away from his ear and quickly sent his brother the apartment address. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Of course, the first thing I want to do is to spill my guts to my older brother.” Virgil could almost feel him rolling his eyes. “We can talk when I see you. Get ice cream.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t hang up yet, I’m not going to say it, but it’s implied.” “Which one?”  
“Don’t test me, you know exactly what I mean.”

“No, there are two very distinct things you could mean by that. Being my anxious older brother you could mean, be careful, asshole, or you could mean that you love me. I highly doubt it’s the second one.”

“As long as you got the asshole message.” Virgil relaxed, his brother sounded a little bit better, and they could talk tomorrow when he got here. They would probably go out for dinner, so Patton didn’t even need to meet him. Patton was just so full of energy, and questions. Questions that Virgil wasn’t sure he was ready to answer yet.

“Night V, I’ll be careful. I’ll see you soon, and you are the worst.” Virgil could hear the sincerity at first and then the playful tone.

“Yeah, I love you too. Don’t do anything stupid in the next twelve hours.” “How can I, you took all the stupid with you when you left.”

Virgil just chuckled at his marvel reference, waiting until he heard the line go dead. Finally, he put his phone back on the charger, making sure the alarm was set. He would probably sleep decently for the first time in two days.

**00:36 (12:36 am)**

Roman stumbled into the house, doing his best to try to keep quiet. He didn’t realize how hard it would be to juggle the play and his job. It did not help that he was feeling bitterly jittery and not very glittery as of late. Maybe Lewis was right, his eating habits hadn’t been the best and it was possible he had put on a bit of weight. That was a possibility for why he was feeling off. His meals weren’t as balanced now that he barely had any time at home. Roman missed Patton’s cooking, but it was hard to carry the food containers around all day.

Walking into the kitchen he saw the note on the table from Logan. Logan’s cooking wasn’t nearly as good, and he already felt like his skin was crawling. He didn’t need to eat. He knew what the note probably said, so rather than reading it, he crumpled it up and headed to his room. He felt like a rock on the shoreline, worn down from the constant pressure of outside forces. It didn’t help that the others had been texting him the past few days. He didn’t have the energy to respond, couldn’t they just respect that?

All of his excess energy was already being focused on the play. He was enjoying play practice immensely, but he was struggling with his part. Lewis, being a sweetheart, though it was his fault. The shorter man blamed himself for their scenes being stiff. Apparently, they weren’t ‘clicking’ the way Roman had with his co-star for heathers. Lewis constantly talked about how amazing Roman had been in that musical, and how jealous he was that he and Roman didn’t have the same chemistry. Roman didn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially someone who had spoken so highly of his previous abilities.

Setting his phone alarm for 5:30 am, Roman blinked at it looking tired. He would get up early and run lines while he went for an actual run. Physical exercise would be good for him. Then he would go to work and play practice.

Roman didn’t bother to change into pajamas, too exhausted from the day and the thought of the day ahead. After his clothes were off he flopped into the bed, closing his eyes. He couldn’t fail. He just had to work harder. If he couldn’t get his act together the director might kick him out of the musical and put in his understudy. He really needed to shape up if he wanted to make this his career.

Especially since Remus had been doing so well. He had to hear about it every day from those people in the cast who were working for both shows.

As his eyelids began to fail him, Roman allowed a few tears to slip before he fell asleep. He wanted this more than anything.


	15. Chapter 15

“Logan, have you seen Roman lately?” Patton was making lunch and realized that Roman had, once again, left his food in the fridge. It had been almost a month and Patton couldn’t remember seeing Roman during that time. He knew their theatrical roommate was coming home, sometimes he would hear him come in late at night, but Roman always seemed to be gone before any of them got up. That wasn’t like him.

“No, I assumed he has been very busy with his professional make-believe. It was my understanding that when someone is pursuing a dream, you should be supportive. Should I have been checking in on him?”

“No,” Patton shook his head. “I just hope he isn’t pushing himself too hard. He said that one of his actor buddies has been bringing him dinner, so I haven’t even gone and visited him. If he is bonding with one of his friends, I don’t want to bug him.”

“You could always take him some of your sweeter confections.” “Do you mean cookies?”  
“Yes, that is one example.”

“Of course, of course, I could take him dessert!” Patton smiled happily. “Even if it is a short visit, I can make enough for his friend too. I don’t even have to wait until Friday. We should go visit him today. If you want to come.” He suddenly realized he might be pushing Logan into a social situation he didn’t want to experience.

“Virgil, after a long discussion about being careful with whom you trust, advised me that spending time with those who care about me is beneficial to my emotional health. Also, if Roman is overworking himself, it would be advantageous for both of us to be there.”

Patton could just about see the wheels turning in Logan’s head. He was glad to see Logan cared. “My kiddo convinced you of that? That’s wonderful! Now if only he would take his own advice.” Patton pouted a little bit, but it didn’t last long.

“We can discuss that later,” Logan knew that Virgil had his reasonings for his occasional isolation. “How about we begin the cookie making process?”

“Sure!” Being easily distracted, Patton dropped the subject, bouncing into the kitchen. He pulled all of the ingredients out of the cupboard. “Wait, we don’t have enough sugar. I must have forgotten to put it on the grocery list.”

“We can go purchase the necessary sugar and return to make the cookies. There is still adequate time in the day and Roman’s practices always run late. I have no pressing work that must get done and the house is rather clean due to your consistent care.”

Patton giggled. “Alright, let me get my wallet, do you want to drive there, or walk?” He was normally fine with walking, but they were working with a time table today.

“It would be more efficient if we were to drive. However, seeing as I do not have a car, you would need to be the one to transport us.”

“I don’t mind.”

It didn’t take them long to drive to the store. They had bought a bag of sugar and two jars of crofters at Logan’s request. Patton liked the way Logan’s eyes lit up when he examined the jars of Crofter’s. It was the same as when he spoke about space, or Sherlock. Patton was so glad they had both had the day off. It was pleasant.

That pleasantness was cut short as they made it back home. Something was amiss as they pulled up. Their front door was just slightly open. Had one of the other two come home? Normally, they were all careful about closing the door and locking it, Virgil especially. Logan held the bag of groceries in his hand tightly as he pushed Patton behind him. He opened the door slightly to see someone sitting on the couch.

“Hello?” Patton called out, not wanting to scare the person if there was an innocent reason for them to be here.

“About time someone came home, I was rather disappointed to come in to an empty house.” The voice was smooth, deep, and gentle. Somehow, it still sent a shiver down Logan’s spine. The man sitting on their couch didn’t seem to be trying to hide. His body was twisted so that he was half leaning over the edge that faced Patton and Logan. He never looked up from his phone and it gave Logan time to assess this newcomer's appearance.

The young man, probably 6 or 8 years younger than Logan, was wearing a black beanie with yellow trim that matched his yellow gloves. A shirt, that was a matching yellow sat under his black jacket. It was summer. Who wore a leather jacket in the middle of summer?

“Hey kiddo, mind if I ask who you are?”

The younger man looked up at them finally, eyebrow raising. For the first time, Logan could see his full face and he was stricken with two realizations. This boy had heterochromia, one eye a rich chocolate brown and the other a striking golden yellow. Secondly, he had snake scale tattoos all over his face and neck. When he spoke, his lips curled into a smirk that didn’t seem to reach the side with his tattoo. “I’m surprised you don’t recognize me, dad, I’m offended. I’m your illegitimate child.”

Logan could hear the sarcasm in this man’s voice and was frustrated that they hadn’t gotten any information out of him.

“Well okay then. Pleasure to meet you, kiddo. I’m going to start making cookies.”

“Wait, what?” The boy said and Logan fought back a laugh as this new person completely lost his suave footing. That seemed to be a talent of Patton’s. Logan wasn’t sure if Patton had believed their intruder, it was illogical considering their ages.

“Cookies, you have had cookies before right?”

“Yes...”  
“I’m going to make you some.”

“And while he bakes, you can take the time to explain who you are, how you got into our house, and what your intentions are.”

Virgil burst through the front door and as he saw the new man he growled slightly, “Dee, I told you to wait for me outside!” He almost ran into Logan as he walked over and smacked Dee upside the head. “You can’t just walk into other people’s houses. How did you even get in?”

“It’s not like I took a lock picking class or anything.” With the two standing side by side, the resemblance was obvious. It made Logan relax a bit now that he knew at least had an idea of who he was.

“Why, why would you do that to me. First you weren’t there when I got here, even though you should have been, and now I’m going to have to worry about the locks. I’m not going to feel safe until they are changed.” Virgil’s anxiety was beginning to spike and Logan noticed. He walked over and gently put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Virgil, do you mind telling us who this is?” He already knew the answer but giving Virgil an outlet to focus had proved helpful in the past. Virgil began to relax and Logan could see something in Dee’s eyes change.

“Oh, right, sorry. Sorry. This is my little brother, he goes by Dee because he doesn’t like to give out personal information. He is an as-”

“Language!”

“English,” Logan muttered under his breath with a light smile.

Dee seemed to snort quietly behind his glove.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “he is an assailant on my temperament.”

Logan nodded, “Does he have anxiety as well?”

“Getting personal teach, but I am not so weak.” Dee rolled his eyes. “I am just smart about not giving people information they could use to hurt me.”

“So you lie a lot.”

“Give the professor a gold star.”

“Now, now kiddo.” They heard Patton from the kitchen, “I understand if you don’t want to tell us things, but lying is wrong.”

Another eye-roll, Logan could see the family resemblance to Virgil.

“He doesn’t suffer from anxiety, but... no, hopefully, he will tell you more one day.” Logan watched as Dee grimaced.

“I just wish you would have told us he was coming kiddo, I would have gotten stuff at the store for a special dinner.”

“Sh-“ But Virgil could feel Patton staring from the kitchen. “Shiitake mushrooms, I knew there was something I was forgetting to do last night. Do you two mind if my brother stays with us for a few days? If it’s too much trouble I can find a hotel.” He pulled out his phone and began texting Roman.

“I don’t mind, I love having more kiddos to care for.”  
“As long as he is respectful of the house rules, I have no qualms with the matter.” “Virge, you weren’t kidding about him being a dad,” Dee smirked.

“I don’t mind you staying Dee, but you will not upset Patton, got that? Or any of my roommates for that matter.” Virgil sat on the couch next to Dee, “Do you want to talk about why you are here?”

Dee looked at Logan, who was still staring him down, then at Patton who was in the kitchen humming to himself. “Not really.” But Virgil could hear the edge in his voice.

Virgil rolled his eyes this time, begrudgingly standing up from his newly found spot on the couch. “Come on, grab your backpack and I’ll show you to our room.”

Dee’s bravado dropped as he got close to Virgil. Logan watched as the older brother wrapped an arm around the younger man. “I think I may have really screwed up this time.” The two disappeared into Virgil’s room and Logan went back to Patton.

“Maybe we should take the cookies over tomorrow. We have a bit more pressing matters to deal with.”

“I think so too. Do you have an air mattress we could lend to Virgil for our guest? I, of course, have extra blankets and such.”

“You and I are very different Patton.” Logan shook his head. “I do not have an air mattress, but this sounds like the type of thing that has happened before, so I assume Virgil is prepared. My concern was that Virgil said he would like the locks changed due to his brother's antics.”

“Have you ever change a lock before Logan?”

“No, but I also would prefer to do it when all of us are home. We do not want Roman coming home and finding that his keys do not work, or at the very least tomorrow when we can give him a new key.”

“That makes sense, so what did you want to do about this?”

“Well, the four of us should have dinner and discuss the rules of the house so that Dee is aware of them.” He pushed up his glasses. “Then the three of you can watch a movie while I being researching locks that would make Virgil feel more secure. I will also contact our landlord to let them know what we are doing.”

“You don’t have to do this on your own Logi. Just tell me how I can help.”

Logan blinked in surprise. “Patton, it is quite alright. You already do a large portion of the work for this household.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course, I am.”

“You are so kind Logan.”

He didn’t believe that, but he appreciated the sentiment.


	16. Chapter 16

“Patton,” Roman waved at him weakly. He was surprised to see Patton here, especially since Patton hadn’t visited since the first time. Lewis was probably right. Patton probably didn’t want to be around him. Then again, if that were true, why was Patton here now. “What are you doing here?” He tried to keep a happy smile on his face but he felt a bit suspicious.

“Well, I know your friend has been bringing you dinner but we haven’t seen you in a while. I was worried, so I brought you cookies. Also, Logan changed the locks today so I brought you a new key! He wanted to come with, but he had an emergency with his job.”

That explained why Patton had come. He had only come out so that he could give Roman a key. His heart sank. “Really, databyte wanted to come visit me?” He didn’t believe that. Roman pocketed the key and looked at the cookies. Patton’s food was always delicious, but he shouldn't, especially not this close to the play.

“Of Course he did! We all miss you, but we know you are working hard. We don’t want to disrupt your practices, and we are so excited to see you in your play! I just know you will be amazing!”

Patton thought he saw Roman flinch at that, he was about to say something when a smooth voice interrupted. “And I’m sure he will be perfectly ready by then.” Lewis walked over, a smile on his lips that Patton didn’t like. His arm curled around Roman possessively. “It is good to see you again Patton.” His body had shifted, pulling Roman a little further from Patton and making himself a wedge between them.

“Yeah, good to see you too.” Patton didn’t like this. Something was off, but he put his finger on it. He really needed to be more accepting of Roman’s friends.

“And who is this?” Lewis looked over to Dee who had been standing off to the side, pretending to ignore the conversation. When he was called out though he looked up.

“Well, wouldn’t you like to know?” He asked with a smirk, walking closer to the group and looking over Lewis and Roman.

“Is this your boyfriend Pat?” Roman asked, finally looking up at Dee.

“No, silly, this is our temporary roommate. I promised Virge I would show him around the city.” “Well, that’s very kind of you,” Lewis interjected, his hand gripping Roman’s arm a bit tighter.

“We don’t want to prevent you from showing him around.” Something was definitely off. Normally, Roman would make some flamboyant statement about their epic quest. His eccentric way of speaking always made Patton smile.

“Of course not Roman, you aren’t preventing us from anything. We came to visit you first!” “That is kind Patton but we really don’t want to take up your time.”

“Roman was it?” Dee interjected. “Why don’t you show me around. Patton can keep this other dude occupied but I need to get some dirt from you on my brother.”

Hesitantly Roman looked at Lewis, “Um, okay.”

Begrudgingly, Lewis let go of Roman’s arm and he began to walk off with Dee. The only reason he was allowing this was so that he could have a chat with Patton.

“Hey, Patton,” he lowered his voice, making it sound sincere and timid. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep visiting Roman. He has been so stressed out and I think this is just making it worse.”

“I mean if Roman doesn’t want me here I won’t come, but if he is stressed out he needs his friends nearby. It helps to have people you can rely on.”

“He has friends here. He had me, Remy, and Valarie. Not to mention a few others but, I mean, not to sound rude, are you really friends? He rarely talks about you, you’ve only been roommates for a few months. I mean, he couldn’t even trust you enough to tell you he didn’t like your cooking.” Lewis quickly covered his mouth as if he wasn’t supposed to say that.

“H... he doesn’t?” Was that why Roman had asked him to stop bringing dinner? “Sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“N... no, it’s okay. It’s good to know.”

“I mean you should still definitely come to the show, I know he would love that, but maybe just let him figure things out in his own time until then.” Patton nodded weakly. Had he really just been irritating Roman? Was all of his doting nature just pushing Roman away?

It wasn’t long after that Dee and Roman came back. Roman’s smile was just a little bit brighter. At least he was getting along with Dee. “I don’t really like you snake, but you give such sweet compliments.” The two laughed, Dee’s was more of a low chuckle.

“We should get going, Patton.”

“Right!” He smiled but was holding back his sadness. Did Roman really not like him? It hurt more than it should have. “Bye Roman.” He waved, not showing his normal exuberance.

Roman’s eyes fell as Patton turned away. “Did I upset him?”

“No, of course not my clumsy little dumpling. He just said he was worried, you don’t look healthy darling. He felt guilty bringing the cookies. He thought he should have brought something healthier”

“Oh,” he frowned. Did he actually look that bad? He thought he had been doing a good job hiding it, but he was so drained all the time.

“I keep telling you, you're pushing yourself too hard, maybe you should quit that job of yours, or come live with me, it’s closer to your job and the theater.”

Roman frowned. Was that really a good idea? Lewis made a good argument. “Maybe after the play.”

As the two others made their way around the city, Patton found his focus was broken. He was completely lost in thought as he tried to figure out what he was going to do about Roman, wondering if Roman really hated him. “You didn’t honestly believe anything that short man said did you?” Dee’s words broke through his thoughts like a hissing snake.

“Wh... what?” He asked surprised, “I don’t know-“

“Please.” He raised his gloved hand to stop Patton, “It would be difficult not to notice your mood change. Also, it takes a liar to know a liar, and he is one.”

Patton looked at Dee for a while, “I’m sure he’s not a liar, he hasn’t given me any reason-“

This time, all Dee needed to cut him off was a look. “Really, so your Disney obsessed roommate normally acts like that?”

“No, but he’s just stressed.”

Neither of them believed that statement. “So what are you going to do about it?” Dee wasn’t going to beat around the bush about this type of situation. A lesson needed to be taught, and Patton was not a great student.

“I mean, I want to help Roman, but I can’t force him to accept my help, and even if Lewis is a bad guy. It would make sense if Roman was irritated at me.”

Dee just rolled his eyes. “Believe what you want, but self-pity won’t help you.”

“Is that why you are so strong, Dee?” Patton wanted to know more about Virgil’s younger brother but he seemed closed off. Then again, even if he did get any information could he trust it? Dee was a bit of a liar, which Patton really didn’t approve of. Lying was wrong.

“You’ll need to try a bit harder if you want my backstory,” “Well, I’m willing to put in the effort!”

“I’m sure you are.” His voice oozed with fake sincerity. “Everyone says they are willing to put in the effort-”

“I actually will. Virgil is such an important friend to me, which means you are important to me as well!”

“Sweet, but we should focus on Roman.”

“Right,” Patton’s smile faded as he thought about what they could do to help Roman.


	17. Chapter 17

“V, how much do you know about your roommate’s abusive boyfriend?”

“Ex.” Virgil corrected. He had been focused on his music, but the realization of Dee’s question slowly dawned on him. Sitting up, he yanked out his headphones and looked at Dee who was fighting back a sly smile. He couldn’t forget his brother was manipulative and very good at getting information. He had promised Logan he wouldn’t say anything so he had to be careful. “Besides, how did you find out?” He had already admitted it, backpedaling wouldn’t do him any good. Instead, he had to go on the defensive, ask questions rather than answer. He really didn’t want to hurt the nerd.

The sly man sat cross-legged on Virgil’s bed. He could see his brother growing guard. Dee knew he would need to tread carefully. Virgil’s anxiety could really get out of control, but he really didn’t mean any harm. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that they were exes, they seemed pretty close when I saw them together.” Add legitimacy to his knowledge, show Virgil he wasn’t prying, just curious.

Virgil’s thoughts began to spiral. Was Lewis hounding Logan again? Logan would tell him, right? They had gotten closer over the past few weeks, he wasn’t going to try to fight this alone. Momentarily Virgil bit at his thumbnail, the way it clicked against his teeth gave him a focus. His free hand wrapped around his wrist, thumbing at his scars. He still hadn’t verified if Logan was cutting, and he was just beginning to break down his walls. Lewis could ruin all of that.

Seeing his brother rub at his old scars, scars that Dee has always blamed himself for, changed Dee’s attitude immediately. His smirk fell. His confident aura crumbled. This was no longer a fun game of play the player. This was serious.

He grabbed Virgil’s hand gently, pulling it away and forcing Virgil to focus on him. “You are too easy to read.” Dee chastised his older brother softly. “This ex, is he causing your roommate to cut?” Dee looked down at the scars on Virgil’s wrist, trying not to squeeze Virgil’s wrist too tightly. They both knew it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t outside forces that caused scars like these

but the thoughts inside your own head that you couldn’t avoid. Still, others could make it worse, even if that wasn’t their intention.

“I...” Virgil looked up at Dee, his normally callous smile gone, replaced with a look of pain and devastation. This is why Dee frustrated Virgil. All he had to do was look into Virgil’s eyes and Virgil’s defenses fell. They both blamed themselves for things that had been out of their control. Virgil looked at the tattoo on Dee’s face, it hid a deep scar which was now hard to see under the glittering fake scales. This close though, Virgil could see it. He had memorized every line. Guilt washed over him. They were both damaged, but maybe together they could help Logan. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me that he has, but he shows some of the same signs as...” his voice failed him.

“The same signs as when you...” It didn’t really need to be spoken.

“Yeah.” Virgil’s voice sounded a bit defeated. He had recovered. He had no problem talking about these issues with other people but with Dee it was different. Pulling his hands away, Virgil pointed to his shoulder where he expected Logan’s scar would be. “Not the wrists, I suspect he is too smart for that.”

Slowly Dee nodded. So they were talking about different roommates. Roman seemed like the type to just cover up his scars with makeup or accessories. He also didn’t necessarily seem smart, at least not intellectually. Creatively smart, that was a different argument to be had. “Do you want me to find out?”

Did he? He wanted to respect Logan’s privacy but some times, especially in situations like these, privacy was not a luxury you could afford. Logan was smart, but if Lewis was harassing him again, what if it all became too much? Virgil hesitated but slowly nodded.

“Okay.” Dee had no problem investigating all three of them. It gave him something to do. It was a good avoidance tactic for his own problems. Thus far, Patton seemed the most likely to have an abusive ex, his constant need to smile and prove everything was okay a classic sign, but Logan was closed off, almost as if he was afraid of being hurt. Normally Dee would find joy in having a little game to play, but thinking back to his brother's scars, he was just angry. What gave anyone the right to treat people like this?

Virgil had given up the pretense of trying to hide this from his brother. He wouldn’t be specific, but if Dee was going to help, he needed to know. “What did you want to know about the ex?”

“Oh, right, do you know if it was physical or emotional abuse?” This wasn’t going to help him with Roman but it could at least help him with the other roommate, whichever one it was. The fact that Virgil has jumped to conclusions that it was someone else concerned Dee, were all of them that stupid?

Virgil began to bite his thumbnail again, as he thought. “We don’t talk about it a lot since it is a sensitive subject, but he assured me it was only ever verbal abuse. In fact, he says that’s his excuse for why it took him so long to break things off. Now when did you see them together?”

“The other night.” Dee knew he was going to have to manipulate the truth a bit if Virgil kept pushing. He didn’t want his brother blaming himself for giving away secrets. Virgil was kind, but he was too anxious to get things done when they needed to be.

“What were they doing together?”

“Just talking, it didn’t seem heated but you can just tell from the outside.”

Virgil nodded. “I know... ” he almost said Logan’s name, “my roommate, said he wasn’t violent, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be. Don’t get yourself into a dangerous situation, okay?”

“No, that’s your job.”

Virgil flinched but gave Dee a sarcastic smile and an eye roll.

Shit, that wasn’t what he had meant. He pretended not to notice the flinch, “I mean, what kind of moron moves in with three people he has never met without at least a background check. You should have let me follow them for a few weeks.”

“Aren’t you the one who told me I needed to stop being so anxious? Also, I’m the older one here, I’m supposed to be protecting you.”

He completely waved off the older sibling's comment. “I said less anxious, not more stupid. This society is filled with people who are just waiting to crush you the first chance they get. You got lucky. Surprisingly, none of them are assholes.” Dee adjusted his black and yellow beanie.

“Now who’s acting anxious.”

“Whatever, I know you are strong enough to protect yourself if things go down, but you are all I have left. You can’t take stupid risks.”

“Yeah, same for you.”

“Awe shoot.” He tried to break the tension but they both could still feel it in the air. “Don’t get all sappy on me.” He smiled weakly and they both smile. “Well I’m going to sit here silently and make a plan, you go back to your emo music.”

Virgil lightly punched him, but he put his headphones in and went back to his music, thoughts falling on Logan. Worry began to flood his mind. Logan had been teaching him about blackholes recently, and all he could imagine was Lewis being a black hole that slowly drained the light from Logan, a star that could burn so brightly if he didn’t have the looming darkness behind him. What did that make Virgil? He had gotten stronger, better at helping and protecting others, but did he really have the ability to save Logan? What was Logan to him? The sun? No, that was too bright. Logan was more like the moon, reflecting the light of the sun and softening it. His metaphor was getting mixed.

As he heard the opening riff to Starlight by Muse, Virgil’s eyes began to slowly slide close. A yawn escaped his mouth. What an appropriate song after his thoughts on blackholes, but what about his revelation. Was he willing to admit it? No, not yet. That would have to remain his silent secret for now.

For once sleep came easily to him and Virgil didn’t notice his brother slip out of the room.


	18. Chapter 18

Dee was leaning against the theater wall. He watched and waited as Lewis walked Roman to the sidewalk, forcing a kiss onto the taller man’s check. It was a disgusting display of affection but Roman smiled weakly at it before walking away. Lewis turned towards the parking lot, finally seeing Dee there. “Lewis, wasn’t it?” He pushed himself off the wall.

“Yes, Dee right?” There was a look of skepticism in his eye.

“You can call me Dee if you want, but my real name is Declan.” He lied, holding out his hand, “I think we started off on the wrong foot.”

“Is that so?” Lewis shook Dee’s hand. “And you wanted to apologize so much that you waited alone, in a dark part of town, to talk to me. I feel like I’m being threatened.”

“Sorry, I just didn't know anything about your schedule other than play practice, and figured you didn’t want me around your boyfriend.” He raised his hands in defense.

Lewis narrowed his eyes. “Okay, but that still puts someone like you in a bit of danger.” Said the five-one short stack to the five-eight string bean. Who did this guy think he was? “say I believed you did come to apologize, why not wait inside. What are you playing at?”

He began walking and Dee followed slowly. The fact that he had asked a question was an invitation. “Like I said, I figured you didn’t want me around your boyfriend, and unlike some people, I respect that. I’m a bit overprotective of my brother, and he is currently living with three other people. It’s not safe for him, so if your intention is to date and take away one of them, I’m all for helping you.” Dee slid his hands in his pockets. “I understand wanting to protect what’s yours.”

“You are lying.”

“Why would I?”

“You walked Roman away from me,”

“You seemed like you needed to talk to Patton.” The two walked in silence for a while, “Look, you don’t have to believe me. I just wanted to apologize. I know I came off as a bit harsh, and that wasn’t my intention.” Act submissive, make him feel like he has power. “I just felt really bad. I could tell I made you angry.”

Lewis smirked, “Well, I appreciate the apology, and if you could convince Patton to stay away for a while that would be helpful, maybe get him and your brother to miss the play.” He wanted Logan there though.

“Just those two? There is another roommate. Should I find a way to keep him away?” He kept his voice gentle. He didn’t want it to seem like he was insinuating anything.

“No!” Lewis said a bit too quickly. That was interesting. There was something about Logan. Lewis knew about him, was this the ex that Virgil was talking about. That would explain why Lewis didn’t want Virgil around. He had to dig deeper, but he had to be careful.

“Okay, I will try to find a way to get Patton and Virgil to not come, but I will make sure Logan is there.”

Dee watched as his shoulders relaxed. “Good, I think we could be good friends Declan.” Logan definitely made him have a reaction.

“Maybe I will play it off like a date.” He said softly. “Logan is rather handsome.”

Lewis’ shoulders tensed. “I don’t think that is a good idea. I’ve heard rumor. He isn’t good boyfriend material.”

“Is that what you’ve heard? Well maybe not then.” Dee knew that Lewis had a connection to Logan. If he was both Logan’s ex and Roman’s current problem, he really could take care of two birds with one stone. Now there was an idea. No, he had promised Virgil he would be safe and careful. Lewis waved Dee off. Their conversation was done, and Lewis didn’t want Dee following him home.

Dee turned to leave. He had a picture half-formed. Dee just needed to make sure that Logan was indeed Lewis’ ex-boyfriend. If he was, and if Dee’s theory was correct, then he had a foothold. He had a way to forcefully break Roman away. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but it was going to be effective.

He clicked his tongue as he fished the keys out of his pocket. Logan would be a tougher nut to crack. He was a man of logic, his emotions locked tightly with a key. A key his brother seemed to have, but Dee wasn’t sure he was ready to use Virgil to manipulate Logan. How did you break someone like that without actually breaking them? He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He had never liked working with glass people.

~~~~~

Once again Logan was up much later than he should be. Sleep seemed to evade him, and it was just past midnight, if he took one of his sleeping pills now, he wouldn’t wake up in time for his 7 am shift. His mind would not calm. Recently, sweet words from a friend could help break him out of his own thoughts, if only for a few minutes. Virgil had been a great help these past few weeks, but Virgil was asleep. Logan had also been getting along with Patton a bit better as well, but Patton was also asleep. His shoulders relaxed with the comforting sound of the door opening. Roman was home. Though, these past few months, Roman was working at an exhaustive level. Maybe they could have a short conversation, something to relax both of them.

“Good evening Roman.” He said softly, trying to keep a gentle smile on his face. He did not like expressing emotions but considering his tenuous relationship with Roman, he wanted to show his intentions were purely kind.

“What are you doing up so late nerd?” His voice sounded harsh and broken. Was this even the Roman he knew?

“I was having some difficulties sleeping and made myself a cup of tea. I believe the water is still warm if you would like me to make you one.”

“No...” his voice sounded less like a statement and more like a question.

“Roman, are you feeling well? I am aware you have been working hard, but something seems off.”

Even in the darkness of the night, he could see Roman’s face contort into several different emotions, though Logan could not identify half of them. “Even the robot noticed,” Roman swore under his breath and Logan would be lying if he said the words didn’t hurt.

“Apologies if I said something out of line Roman. I am...” He took in a deep breath, he hated admitting this, but he was trying to improve. “I still do not excel at this-”

“Of course not,” Roman said in an angry whisper, “Because you can’t do anything right, oh broken brother of Mufasa.” Maybe he was projecting a little bit. “Now if you kindly will leave me alone. I am exhausted and I have work in the morning.” Roman quickly went to his room, closing the door behind him louder than he should have. Thankfully, Patton was a deep sleeper and Virgil still had his music on. How had Logan noticed? Logan of all people! Roman collapsed in his bed, once again too tired to change. Tears slid down his face despite his protests.

He really shouldn’t have yelled at Logan like that but he was so tired of people pointing out how much of a failure he was. Didn’t they realize he already knew that? Didn’t they realize that he knew he was broken? He didn’t need them to point it out.

“Broken brother...” Scar. Logan’s already troubled mind flooded with reasons of why Roman would call him that. Did Roman know about his cutting? Did Roman think he was evil? Was it because Scar was intelligent and manipulative? Did Roman think Logan was just trying to manipulate him? Logan’s hand went to the scar on his shoulder, covered by the Nasa T-shirt he wore as a nightshirt. This was why Logan didn’t like emotions. They were of no use to him. His nails sunk into the fabric. He was sliding again. What was he supposed to do when he was sliding? What were the logical steps to take next? His therapist had told him. Why was his memory failing? Why did Roman hate him? Had he done something wrong again? Lewis’s voice echoed in his mind.

_‘Noone will ever love you like I do, you are broken.’_ No, this wasn’t love.

Logan was shaking. He needed a release. He needed something real to focus his thoughts. He needed to drain the emotions. Logan stood, setting his cup of tea on the coffee table as he walked to the bathroom. It felt surreal. He was being led by a force he couldn’t control. His hand reached towards the medicine cabinet. Just one.

He just needed one cut.


	19. Chapter 19

The bathroom light was on as Dee walked into the house. “Weird.” He whispered, making his way that direction. Curiosity was going to kill him one day but, well, he should have been dead already so what was the harm. Pushing the door open he was only slightly surprised to see Logan standing there. His hand was shaking as he held a straight razor to his arm, it had not yet pierced his skin. Logan’s eyes were filled with fear and pain as he turned to look at Dee.

“Hey, it’s okay.” There were so many different thoughts going through Dee’s head, and for a second he couldn’t help but see Virgil standing there with that same look of pain and fear. “It’s okay. I’ll take that burden from you.” Dee held his hand out, waiting patiently for Logan to give him the razor.

Logan seemed to hesitate, his eyes confused and hopeless. His knuckles were white as he clung to the blade. Dee didn’t move. He kept his hand out calmly, not saying a word, giving Logan time to think. Finally, the tall man handed over the razor, slowly backing up, and sitting on the toilet.

Logan hid his face in his hands, devastated by what he had almost done. He had been warring with his own mind, trying not to fall back into bad habits. He was so thankful Dee stepped in. Having someone else here made his battle easier to fight.

‘There it is,’ Dee thought to himself, making note of the deep scar on Logan’s arm. Just the one scar, but it looked painful and mangled. He suspected Logan would intentionally cut the same spot. It was right where Virgil thought it would be, and Virgil had said Logan would be smart about hiding it. One cut was easier to hide than many.

“You can talk to me,” Dee said softly. “I know you don’t trust me, and that’s fine, were basically strangers. That means I have no investment in your life, which also means, logically, you can say anything, and I won’t care.”

Logan looked up as him with a slightly broken smile. “You are a strange human Dee.” He choked out, reaching for his shirt to put it back on. “I’m not sure...” His voice faded out, fingers clinging around the material.

Sure he had been here less than a week, but Dee had to admit, it was strange to see Logan break down like this. “Then I’ll talk. Virgil gets like this sometimes.” He said softly, jumping up on the counter and looking at Logan. “He doesn’t like to talk about why, so I talk.” Dee stretched with a yawn. “What about? Oh I know, you seem like someone who would enjoy learning the history of stage magic.” Dee began to talk, allowing himself to ramble about a subject he would never admit he liked. He was actually very good at performance magic, but Virgil was the only one who knew. As a kid, he had had posters of Houdini in his bedroom and in his freshman year of high school he had even performed in the school talent show. Dee had no intention of telling Logan all of that, but he could talk about the history and theory of magic for hours. Thankfully, he didn’t have to. After about ten minutes, Logan seemed to visibly relax and almost enjoy listening to Dee speak.

“Well, I think that is enough for me,” he said with a smirk. “You should be heading to bed.”

“S... sorry,” Logan said with a yawn. He realized he was finally tired. “But thank you. I immensely appreciate the help tonight.”

He shrugged. “Let me know if you feel like using that for unintended purposes. Anytime, night or day. It would make my brother sad if he knew you were damaging such delicate skin, and I don’t like to see Virge sad.”

That seemed to wake Logan up a bit. “I’m not sure why it would bother Virgil.”

Dee rolled his eyes. “Well, you are the smartest one here, if you don’t see anything I’m sure it must be nothing.” He slid off of the counter. It wasn’t his job to get his brother a boyfriend,

besides, if Logan was still being harassed by his abusive ex, another boyfriend so soon might not be a good idea. Dee did not want to see Virgil hurt. “You should head to bed.”

Logan nodded, watching as Dee left. The feeling of loneliness washed over Logan was again, but it wasn’t as strong. Rather than consuming him, it gnawed gently at the back of his mind, easily pushed back by the other thoughts in his head. What had Dee meant? He knew Virgil was his friend and wouldn’t like the fact that he felt pushed to self-harm again. Grabbing his arm weakly Logan continued his thought; Dee had made it seem like it was more than just a friendly thing. Was Logan ready for something more than friends?

He closed his eyes tight. Logically speaking, if Virgil did like him beyond friends, he would be willing to wait for Logan to figure out where he stood on the matter. He wouldn’t push the subject, and if he did, he wasn’t the type of partner that Logan wanted anyway. After Lewis, did he want another partner? He had given so much to Lewis, even compromised areas of comfortability to make Lewis happy. Was he ready to take those risks again?

His thoughts continued to buzz through his head, but at some point, he must have fallen asleep. He was rudely awoken by the sound of his alarm clock. Maybe, for the first time in a very long time, he should call in sick.


	20. Chapter 20

_‘Good Morning Patton and Dee. I hope that the two of you slept well last night. It is my understanding that the two of you are the only two expected to be home during the morning. This message is my intention to warn you that, I will be staying home today. I believe it is imperative that I take the day to focus on my mental health. I have no intention of being in your way, I simply wanted to forewarn you of my actions so that my presence at home during a non-standard time, does not frighten you.’_

Logan looked over the text a few more times before sending it to Dee and Patton. They would most likely consider it to be verbose, however, he did not have the energy to care. Logan sighed and lay back in bed, covering his face. He was feeling less overwhelmed than last night, which was a positive shift. Now, he just felt drained.

He hadn’t slept well. That was not completely accurate. He had slept adequately. In fact, for the first time in a long time, he woke up feeling refreshed. That did not last long. The memories of last night crashed back into his mind and what energy Logan had, had disappeared from his body.

Dee knew. Dee was aware of what he had done. Dee had stopped him from doing it again. Thanks to Dee, he was still one month clean. However, Dee was an outsider. The only connection he had with any of them, was his connection to Virgil. This left a poignant question on Logan’s mind.

Would Dee tell Virgil?

Logan could imagine the disappointment sparkling in Virgil’s deep eyes. He could imagine Virgil’s soft voice assuring him it was okay, neither of them would believe it. Logan could imagine their relationship changing. Normally, he was not one for flights of fancy or imagination, however, these were logical possibilities. The thought made him hide his face in his pillow.

Virgil was his closest friend and had done so much to help. Logan didn’t want to disappoint Virgil with his inability to handle and express emotions. A sigh left his lips as he turned, rubbing his shoulder where a new cut would have been had Dee not stepped in. Logan couldn’t allow himself to fall into this kind of thinking again. He would talk to Virgil later, admit what had happened on his own terms.

He also wanted to try to apologize to Roman one more time. If it again did not go well, he would drop it. He had to remember that he couldn’t force people to like him. Even if it would be more comfortable for all of them to get along, he could still act like a proper roommate if Roman had no desire to be friends.

Finally getting out of bed, Logan went over to his desk wanting to write down and organize his thoughts. He was expecting to have this time to decide what he wanted to say to Roman. He was not expecting the soft knock on his door.

“Logan, are you doing alright?” Patton called through the door. Maybe he should have expected that. Patton was kind and caring, he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to check-in, especially not after the message Logan had sent.

“I am alright.” He opened the door, “I woke up not feeling very well, but-” his words fell in his mouth as he saw the look on Patton’s face.

“Let me correct myself,” he said, trying to give Patton a soft smile. “I am not alright, but I will be. I promise.”

“Is there anything I can do to help? Any distraction I can provide?”

Logan stopped to think for a little bit. He wanted to tell Patton no, he was so used to handling issues in his own, but he also knew that Patton needed to feel like he had helped. “Well, I don’t really have the energy to make myself breakfast. Would you be able to make me something?”

“Of course,” Patton smiled, “I will be back in a bit!”

Logan nodded, deciding to leave his door open. Patton would return soon and he was not trying to hide from his roommate. Logan sat down again, intending on creating that list, but he closed his eyes, resting his head on his desk. Getting up out of bed and speaking with Patton had drained what little energy he had had. The sound of the clock ticked rhythmically, lulling him back into a dreamless state.

“Logan?” He almost jumped as Patton called his name.

“Y.. yes Patton.”

“You shouldn’t sleep at your desk it will really work your neck?”

Logan looked at him confused, he mouthed the sentence before rolling his eyes. “Work, funny.” He pushed himself away from his desk. “Thank you for making me breakfast Patton. I will get dressed.”

“Of course!” He bounced out of the room, shutting the door on his way out.

Logan rubbed his face. Even if he couldn’t figure anything out today he should still apologize to Roman. Though he had time. Roman didn’t like being bothered at work, and Logan assumes the same could be said about play practice, so he would have to catch Roman in between the two. That gave him about 6 hours. For now, he pushed his project aside and went to eat with Patton.

Logan had to force himself to grab his spoon to eat. He couldn’t remember cutlery being this heavy.

“Lo. I don’t want to push you, but you know that you can always talk to me when you have something going on.”

“I am aware, Patton, but I also don’t want to bother you with my issues.”

“It’s never a bother!” He fervently insisted, “You, Virgil, Roman, and now Dee,” he looked over to the boy who was pretending not to pay attention to their conversation. “All of you are like family to me.” Dee was curled up on the couch with his phone. He had claimed to have eaten breakfast earlier and Patton couldn’t help but smile at the family resemblance.

Logan sighed, rubbing his temples gently. Maybe it was just because he was tired, but Logan didn’t have the energy to fight Patton on this. “I’ve just been dealing with some issues from my past. It really is not an issue that needs to be further explored.”

Silence filled the room and Logan knew it was just a psychological trick but he felt the need to keep talking. “I had a boyfriend, a long time ago, who liked to control what I did, where I went, and who I was with. He decided to show back up in my life recently.”

“Logan... are you... are you doing okay?” Patton asked. “That is a lot to deal with on your own.”

“There has been no need for me to sort through my emotions alone. As I have stated, Virgil has been helping me.”

“That’s right, you told me that he has been helping you. I really am so proud of my son. But that’s not what I meant. You said he has decided to show up in your life again, do you need someone to fight him?”

Patton and Logan couldn’t see Dee’s face, but it mirrored Logan’s. They both had a single eyebrow raised, eyes widened.

“I did not take you to be the type for violence Patton.”

“No one treats my family like that,” he said, pointing his spoon at Logan. “No one.”

Logan couldn’t help but let out a relaxed laugh as he continued to eat his breakfast. “Thank you, I do appreciate your enthusiasm to our metaphorical family. However, I don’t believe violence is necessary. Lewis is a manipulator. He doesn’t get physical.”

Both Dee and Patton recognized the name instantly. “Lewis, short, blond, has a smile that isn’t quite right but you can’t put your finger on why.”

“Though I’m sure that vague description matches many people, and the question about the smile is subjective, I do suppose that also matches the Lewis I am speaking of. Why?”

Patton looked at Dee, who was looking at both of them with his phone down. Then he looked at Logan. “This is bad.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Patton, what do you know?” Logan’s mind was shutting down to protect himself. His eyes had gone blank and his voice was eerily calm.

“I’m sure it’s just a strange coincidence, but Roman has been hanging around with one of the people from his play, his name is also Lewis.”

“I see.” Logan pushed up his glasses and though his voice was steady, both Dee and Patton noticed the tremble in Logan’s hand. “This man is the one that you described to me?”

Patton nodded hesitantly.

“How has Roman doing as of late when you visit him?”

“He isn’t doing very well,” Patton said with a pout. “I’m really worried about him. The first time I visit he was excited and showed me around but after that, it almost seems like he has been avoiding the cast.”

Dee wanted to smack Patton. This was not the time for the truth. Logan was obviously two stray words from a panic attack and this ball of sunshine and energy thought the truth was the best course of action? “It could possibly just be the stress that he is under. We are close to the actual performance after all.” Of course, it was a possibility. Not a likely one and Dee knew that there was something going on, but still, Logan did not need to know that right now, especially not after last night.

“Of course,” Logan said. Dee knew he didn’t mean it. He could see the wheels turning in Logan’s head. Patton really needed to understand the importance of a good lie.

“I think it would be best if I take a walk.” Logan stood up, his voice still monotone and controlled. It was his eyes that gave everything away, his eyes that shone with fear. Somewhere in the back of Logan’s head, he knew if he didn’t get out of the house, the thoughts would come back to control him. Lewis was invading every part of his life. He saw him at work when he went out to exercise, and now Lewis had found a way to invade his home. Lewis was taking over everything he had.

He should have just said yes. He should have gone back with Lewis, then his friends wouldn’t be targeted. If he had returned to Lewis, Roman wouldn’t be going through all of this on his own.

“Logan, stop.” Dee was in front of him now. There was no color left in Logan’s face. “Hey, focus on me. It’s going to be okay.” Beautiful little lies. “I have a plan, but let’s just take in a few deep breaths and try to get ahold of ourselves.” He wasn’t as good at this as his brother was. He wished Virgil was here.

Logan attempted to breathe with Dee, shutting his eyes as he focused on breathing, listening to Dee’s rhythm. It wasn’t easy, there were a few stuttered gasps and a few failed attempts and Logan fought with his failing composure.

“This is my fault,” he finally whispered. His breath even but his eyes were on the verge of tears. “I brought him into our lives.”

“No,” Dee cooed, rubbing Logan’s arms. “This Lewis’ fault and no one else's. Never tell yourself that type of lie.” Dee flicked him in the forehead gently now that he had calmed. “Don’t let the abuser win by taking away the only safe place you have.” He tapped Logan’s head and Logan looked at him confused but completely focused on Dee, which is what the tattooed man needed.

“Now, as I said, I have a plan. I noticed something was off the minute I met Roman, especially since Virgil described him as a ‘high energy lunatic who was constantly singing and quoting Disney.” Dee rubbed his eyes, and Virgil called him the dramatic one. He waved his hand dismissing the thought. “Lewis is the overly confident type, and he is very good at manipulating people who are unaware of his nature. I think I’ve gained his trust. He wants me to bring Logan to the play alone. I’m assumed so that Roman would feel isolated, but now that I know he is Logan’s ex, I think it’s two-fold. He wants you back, and he will use Roman to get you. So I think we should give him exactly what he wants.”

“What?!” Patton shot up, slamming his hands on the table.

“Calm down.” Dee pretended to be looking at his gloved fingers. “I’m not suggesting we leave Logan to go back to Lewis. I’m suggesting you and Virgil sit in the back, bouquets of flowers and other forms of encouragement for Roman on hand. Logan and I will sit in the front. When the play is over you two will wait outside for Roman, don’t text him because Lewis probably monitors his phone. Logan and I will go meet with them...” He continued to explain his plan. He would have preferred to do this while Virgil was home. They were going to have questions and he didn’t want to have to answer the same stupid questions over again.

“Is this really a good idea Dee? We could be putting Logan in danger.”

“No, but I believe that this is a pretty well thought out plan. Yes, there are some potentially dangerous situations that could arise from it, but it also would be the best way to help get Roman away Lewis.” Logan knew that this was a decent plan, but he also knew that there was a large possibility that he would end up back in Lewis’ clutches. As long as his family was safe, that was all that mattered.

“We aren’t done talking about this.” Patton stood. “But I have to go to work.” He looked at Logan, “please don’t do anything while I’m gone, kiddo.”

“I’m not your son,” Logan stated but nodded his head anyway. He and Dee sat in silence as Patton walked around the house and got everything together.

“I will see you two later, Dee don’t do anything and don’t have him do anything.” Patton pointed at both of them, and then closed the door.

The silence continued to suffocate the house until Dee spoke up. “Are you really okay with this?” He looked at Logan, who seemed to once again be lost in his thoughts.

“Yes, it is a well thought out plan.”

“If you aren’t careful or emotionally prepared he might try to drag you back. You will have to be strong.”

“I know. He has never been violent before, and once we are sure Roman is safe and understands, I’ll just walk out.”

Dee frowned but nodded. He had another plan in place, just in case they had to storm the apartment and get Logan out, but he was worrried this very smart man was going to do something stupid.


	22. Chapter 22

As the rest of the week passed, tension filled the air of the house. Neither Virgil nor Patton liked the idea of this plan. Patton didn’t like the idea of putting Logan in an emotionally compromising position. He knew Logan was strong but felt that allowing Lewis the opportunity to worm his words into Logan’s mind could be very detrimental. Dee did not disagree and that was his main concern for this whole thing. Virgil, on the other hand, had other reservations but didn’t seem to want to articulate what was going through his mind. Every time he went to explain it, the words got lost in his mouth. Dee had a guess.

His brother was obvious, the way he spoke about Logan, the way his eyes cast loving looks at his tie clad roommate. Even now, as Logan and Dee sat in the front row of the play, watching as the final curtain went down, Dee could feel his brother’s eyes boring through the back of his head.

He shot Virgil a quick text about remembering to stick with the plan, then he handed his phone to Logan. “Did you change your passcode to the one we agreed upon?”

Logan nodded, handing his phone to Dee. “Yes, and please do not snoop through my phone. I am trusting you to respect my privacy.”

“Likewise.” He slid the phone into the pocket of his hoodie. “How do you manage to text with those gloves on?”

“Special fingertips that allow me to still text.”

Logan nodded, twisting his hands together as he attempted to calm himself. They walked over to where the cast was meeting with their family members and Logan had to fight with his body to keep moving forward. He felt sluggish and empty upon seeing Lewis smiling, each step felt like a chore. Looking down at Dee’s phone, he turned on the recording app before slipping it into his pants pocket.

“Dee! Logan!” Lewis shouted with a smile as he walked up to them, Roman quickly in tow. “How did you enjoy the play?”

It seemed as if Roman wanted to open his mouth but decided against it, keeping his head lowered. Dee could see it written all over his face, he thought that no one wanted to hear him speak. “We enjoyed the play. It was amazing.”

“Why thank you!” Lewis wrapped an arm around Roman and pulled him closer.

Logan knew that he was supposed to wait for Dee to persuade Lewis more, to verbally catch him off guard, but Logan couldn’t help it. “Lewis, can I talk to you alone?”

Something flashed through the smaller man’s eyes and Logan knew he was losing him. He was afraid to see Roman get hurt any further so he did what he had done those years as a boyfriend, tried to fake the emotions Lewis wanted to see.

Reaching out he gently put his fingers on Lewis’ free hand, not coming between him and Roman. “Please.” It almost sounded pleading.

Lewis was rattled, his mouth hanging agape. Looking down at Logan’s fingers gently touching his hand he muttered, “A... alright.” Thoughts raced through his mind, wondering if Logan was finally ready to come back to him. This was perfect. “Will you wait for me backstage Roman?”

Roman nodded but Dee had other plans. “Actually, I saw Roman’s brother while we were buying tickets and I... I think I’m interested. I was wondering if Roman could introduce me.”

Lewis frowned, but as Logan gently took his hand, fingers lacing together, he nodded. “Yeah, of course.” This was where things could fall apart.

Dee led Roman off, hoping beyond all hope that Logan could handle himself. “I didn’t know my brother was here today,” Roman said with a frown.

“He isn’t that I know of, I lied. Patton and Virgil are outside and brought you gifts but Lewis has been acting territorial.”

“Territorial?”

“Yeah, didn’t you know he chased Patton away?”

“No. He said that Patton stopped coming because he didn’t like being around me. Said I was too, extra.”

Dee rolled his eyes, “He specifically made cookies to take to you. That is more extra than you have been since I met you.”

Roman frowned but decided not to fight it as they slipped out of the door.

~~~

“Logan, you are too cruel, playing with my emotions like that,” Lewis said quietly, squeezing Logan’s hand tightly.

“Why are you dating Roman, he isn’t your type?”

Lewis seemed to think about it, “how would you know my type? You were always busy?”

Logan struggled to keep his voice even. “Anytime that we would go out to eat together, you would stare at the men who dressed professionally and had serious faces.”

“Well, maybe I wanted a change. After you left, I couldn’t handle being with another robot who wouldn’t take my feelings into account.”

“And you are happy with Roman?” “Why? Do you want me back?”  
“I asked my question first.”

“And I don’t have to answer it.” Lewis looked Logan over and saw the hint of anger in his face. “Don’t get angry Logan, you are acting childish.”

“Childish?” Logan snapped, attempting to yank his hand from Lewis’ grip. “Childish? FALSEHOOD! I spent almost a year being controlled and manipulated by you and now you are going after one of my friends? I have every logical right to be angry at you! Is this all a game to you? Is Roman just a catalyst for you to get a rise out of me because he deserves so much more than that!”

“Calm down,” Lewis growled but it only seemed to set Logan off further.

“You have no right to say that to me!” He continued to yank at his hand but Lewis’ grip only grew tighter as his face grew more stoic. Logan was not sure he could control his temper until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Logan, babes is that you?” Logan turned to see a man who was impractically wearing sunglasses inside the theater. The hand that was not holding Logan’s shoulder was holding an empty Starbucks cup.

“Remy, a pleasure.” All of Logan’s anger dissipated as he pushed up his glasses. He could feel Lewis let go of his hand. “I was just speaking to an old acquaintance.”

Lewis looked pissed, territorial even as Remy positioned himself so that his arm hung loosely over Logan’s shoulder. He kept his flirty smile as he looked over Lewis before turning to Logan, putting himself a bit between them.

“No way, really, I didn’t know you knew Lewis, is that why you are here?” “No, I came to see Roman.”

“What?” Remy brought down his sunglasses, “you came here for Roman, I didn’t think he would be your type, Lo.”

“You barely know me, much less my type,” Logan stated but hadn’t pushed Remy away. It was nice to have some back up against Lewis.

“Remy, maybe you can catch up with Lo-Lo later, he and I haven’t seen each other in so long and I’m really excited to catch up.”

“Sorry babes, no can do. Lo and I haven’t talked since just after college and he is going to buy me a Starbucks.”

“The amount of caffeine you consume is detrimental to your health. If I must buy you something it will be decaffeinated.”

Remy audibly gasped, “Logan, how could you, I thought we were friends.” Remy was ushering Logan out, their backs already turned to Lewis. The sorter man knew he couldn’t fight it if he wanted to save face, but Logan would be his. He did not like losing his property.


	23. Chapter 23

Patton was trying not to pace nervously outside of the theater. The longer they had to wait for Roman the more Patton grew concerned. What if Roman didn’t want to see them anymore? What if they had been wrong and Roman was just putting on an act the first few months? He bit his lip nervously until Dee opened the door and walked out with Roman. Patton couldn’t contain his excitement at seeing the two of them.

“Roman!” He practically flung himself at the more muscular man. “You did so amazing, I’m so proud of you.” Patton was still clinging to a bouquet of flowers and seemed to only remember that fact when Roman gently pushed him off.

“What do you have there Pat?”  
“Oh! Right! Flowers! For you!” He shoved them over and Virgil chuckled.  
“He was so excited to see your play. We have been missing you, Sir-Sings-a-Lot.” It showed in Roman’s eyes that he obviously did not believe Virgil’s words.

“Since the play is over can we take you out to dinner?!” Patton just wanted to spend more time with Roman, wanted to see him smile again, and Dee had suggested getting Roman as far from Lewis as possible to talk.

“I don’t know, I had plans with Lewis.”

Virgil and Patton’s face both fell. “But Ro, we haven’t had dinner together in months.”

“We could always kidnap him.”

“Dee! That’s illegal.” Patton seemed horrified at the suggestion but Virgil just smiled lightly. “I could ask Lewis if you all can come with.”

“Remember what I said about him being territorial?” Dee adjusted his hat.

“But that was just...”

“You are welcome to ask but a guarantee he will say no and make up some excuse as to why the two of you have to go home.” Dee picked at his gloves. “But you don't have to trust me, I am a liar after all.”

Virgil smacked him upside the back of the head.  
Roman looked confused, looking between Dee and Virgil before Patton took his hands.

“I just want to spend some time with you, Roman,” Patton said in his softest voice, giving Roman’s hands a soft squeeze. “We all do.”

“I... I should at least tell him. Wait, why did Microsoft Nerd stay back?” Virgil frowned, “because he’s a frekin idiot.”

Patton finally let go of Roman’s hand, guilt crossing his face. “He said Lewis was more likely to let his eyes off you if he asked.”

“Why?”

“Because Lewis is his ex-boyfriend.” Dee interrupted.

“What? But Logan is a robot?” Roman was beginning to doubt why Lewis wanted him in the first place. It was hard enough when the short theatrical man constantly talked about how Roman paled in comparison to his ex, but now that Roman knew that ex was Logan. He felt inferior.

“Yeah, well apparently his issues with showing emotion are partially because of Lewis.” Virgil hissed. Did Roman hear that right? Did Virgil actually hiss?

“This really is his story to tell, we shouldn’t blab all of his secrets.” Patton was getting a bit anxious, not wanting to be standing out here when Lewis walked out of the theater.

“It’s fine Patton if anyone needs to know it’s Roman.” They were all surprised by the strong cool voice that was Logan. All eyes looked up to greet him but they were confused by the person by Logan’s side.

“Roman, if I was not already dating Picani, I would be so pissed that you are hoarding all of the hot men for yourself.”

“Why do you call him that, isn’t that his last name?”

Remy nodded, “yeah but I found if I call him Picani-senpai he turns all different shades of pink and I live for that.” He took a sip of the empty Starbucks cup, causing the straw to make it’s all to familiar sucking noise.

Logan’s face was as stoic as ever, but his hands were trembling; his nails were dug so deep into his skin he was almost bleeding.

“Well, let's get to Starbucks, I am out, you all need to talk, and I want the tea.”

Roman look at all of them. “I... I can’t. It would be wrong of me to abandon my boyfriend for my friends. He already-”

“Roman, can we talk?” Logan’s eyes looked serious and he looked back at the others who took a step away.

“Look Logan if it’s about the other night I’m sorry okay, but why are you all doing this? I know you don’t want me around. I am over the top, I am obsessive, and I’m not very useful.” He probably wouldn’t have spoken those words aloud but he was so raw from everything that was happening.

“We aren’t lying to you.”  
“Yeah, right,” he turned to leave but Logan grabbed his arms.

“Roman look at me!” His hands were tightly wrapped around Roman’s shoulder, doing everything he could to force the fanciful man to look at him. The guilt was gnawing at Logan like a hyena, devouring him down to the bone. If he had just gone back to Lewis the first time, Roman wouldn’t be in this state to begin with. “He doesn’t love you, Roman. You, who has always believed in the true romance of Disney’s productions should know, this isn’t love.”

He looked angry and offended, “Logan you have no right-”

“I know what it’s like Roman.” Finally Roman was looking at him and Roman could see the look in Logan’s eyes. He had never seen so much emotion on Logan’s face. He saw fear and worry, love, and doubt. “What Lewis is giving you is not love. He makes it seem like it is, but it’s not Roman.” His grip grew tighter, a desperate plea for Roman to understand. “Virgil wanting to protect you, that is love; Patton wanting you to be happy, that is love; even I want to see you achieve manageable goals. We care about you, we love you.” Whether that was platonic or romantic love didn’t matter at this point, love was love. Roman needed to know that he had people who cared.

Logan look at Roman, the light of the theater shining on both of them. He didn’t seem to understand. Logan’s grip loosened. He was failing. He had to keep trying but he had caused this

and didn’t know how to fix it. “I am sorry that I didn’t notice sooner. I am sorry that I could not protect you from him.” Roman watched as a tear fell from Logan’s face. “Please understand, we care about you, and even if you can’t believe that I do, at least know that Patton and Virgil do. Yes, you and I clash, but it is not because I am trying to figuratively break you down. I want to see you be happy and successful, I want you to have manageable goals so that you aren’t downtrodden by the unachievable. Yes, You are fanciful and you are loud, but those are qualities we love about you.” Finally, his hands dropped from Roman’s shoulders completely. He stood there silently for a moment before trying to wipe the offending liquid from his eyes. “Lewis is, metaphorically, a parasite. He will feed off of your misery and insecurity to make himself feel better. You don’t deserve that.” He took in a sharp intake of breath, straightening his shoulders. “I apologize for not controlling my emotions more adequately, but-”

“Who are you and what have you done with Logan?” Roman looked him over. Giving Logan a weak smile. “I... I don’t know if what you went through with him is the same but... it feels like he loves me. He says it almost every day and he apologizes every time he makes me upset.”

“But he makes sure you know that it’s your fault that he got upset in the first place.” Logan pushed up his glasses, not bothering with the fact that they were now smudged and littered with tears. “I know it feels like he loves you, I know it more than anyone, but he has been hurting you even if you don’t realize this. You have lost weight, and not in a healthy manner. Your smile is not as bright, and you have isolated yourself from your friends.” He made a sweeping gesture to himself and the others who had returned to the car. “I... I don’t want to offend and I am not excelled at this, but-

“Shut up calculator watch,” Roman said, the endearment showing in his voice as he gently punched Logan’s arm. He was still hesitant, Logan’s words rang in his ear but that didn’t mean he believed Logan. “How about we perform an experiment? I’ll text him.”

Logan hesitated but slowly nodded. “May... may I suggest what you send to him?”

“Do what you need to do Telsa, a prince can’t resist a crying damsel.” Logan breaking down and showing his emotions was the most reassuring things Roman had seen in a while. It was strange but he knew the nerd was not an actor and tears like that were hard to fake.

“Tell him that you are going out with friends and you will text him on Sunday in order to meet up for a date. That is fairly reasonable correct?”

Roman nodded, typing out the message. “What are you hoping to prove with this?”

“I know from experience, his first few texts will be understanding but pleading with you to come home instead, then they will get progressively possessive. Then he will apologize, and when you still don’t respond he will resort to name-calling.”

Roman frowned as the first text came in. “I want you to be happy and safe. It will be lonely and I don’t really like your roommates, but as long as you are safe.”

“I should-” Roman was going to say he should go but he realized this message was exactly what Logan said it would be. He hesitated. “I... I’m not ready to fully believe you, but let’s get the others.” He was so unsure, but Logan was practical above all else. He wasn’t a liar.

“I really do apologize for being so hysterical. This is a hard subject for me.”

“I am a prince of the theater. That was not hysterical, that was barely even sentimental.” He teased, though the smile did not reach his eyes. “But you got your point across. I’m sure the others are waiting for us.” Both of them were silent as they made their way to Patton’s car.

“I always assumed you were Ace/Aero. I mean I know that you told me you dated him but it is still a surprise and a bit hard to believe.”

“While I do consider myself Asexual, I do not believe I am Aromantic. I am not certain though, I have had little time to explore that facet of my life as I have spent so much time avoiding Lewis, I haven’t focused on myself.” Logan turned to look at Roman, observing him, deciding he should probably continue. “His words were kind and gentle, but they always have a hint of malicious intent behind them. He will say something that seems kind, but it stings.” He slowly put his hand to his chest. “He chips away at you slowly until you genuinely believe that no one will be able to love you other than him. He makes you believe that you need him.” Logan let his hand fall, looking at the guys waiting by the car for them. “But we don’t need him, Roman. We have them.”


	24. Chapter 24

All four of them climbed into the car, Virgil had insisted on driving, as he always did when he was in a car, and Patton had requested to sit in the back with Roman. It was no secret that Patton was an affectionate person. It was also well known that Patton was a bit stubborn when it came to showing affection, he didn’t take no for an answer. So, Roman didn’t fight it as Patton laced his fingers tightly around Roman’s, giving his hand a light squeeze.

Logan and Virgil in the front were quiet as Patton whispered sweet encouragements to Roman. “You were the most handsome man up there.”  
“You did so well, I am so proud of you.”  
“You put in so much effort and it really showed.”

The words drowned out the buzzing of Roman’s phone, his thoughts focused on Patton’s sweet words. Before they were even halfway to Starbucks, tears were sliding down Roman’s face. He hadn’t realized how much he needed and craved these words of encouragement. His heart drank up the sweet assurances like a sponge drank up water. He gripped Patton’s hand tighter, not daring to make a sound.

Patton noticed. Patton always noticed, and he scooted closer, resting his head on Roman’s shoulder. “A penny for your thoughts?” He whispered, snapping Roman out of his indulgence.

“What?” The confusion was written all over your face, not fully understanding and absorbing the words Patton had said. His mind was still catching up.

“Unless you are afraid of coppers.”

Roman’s lips were pursed in confusion until it dawned on him and a weak smile slipped onto his face. “That was clever, Pat.”

“No that was a joke!”

Roman snorted, and they could hear Logan audibly groan, hiding his face in his hand. No one noticed the slight smile he hid. Virgil was focused on the road and Roman and Patton were focused on each other.

Roman’s smile and laugh only encouraged Patton.

“Do you know what an actor sings in the shower?”

Roman‘s smile grew and he shifted preparing himself, “What?”

“Soap operas.”

Roman laughed harder, “that was excellent Padre.” His shoulders relaxed and he looked a bit less stressed.

“Knock, knock!”

“Who’s there?”

“Olive.”

“Olive Who?”

“Olive You! We all do!”

Roman blushed a little bit. “That was funny, you always were amazing at making jokes Pat.”

“Serious though Ro, we care about you and we’re here for you.” He gave Ro’s hand another squeeze as they pulled up to the brightly lit coffee shop.

Roman smiled again but it slipped away as felt his phone buzz once more. He stepped out of the car, hand going to his pocket but Logan was by his side, gently putting his hand on Roman’s and shaking his head. “Leave it, just for tonight, don’t concern yourself with what Lewis wants. What do you want Roman?”

What did he want? Had he thought about that recently? “I want, I want Patton’s cooking, I want to watch Disney movies and sing along to all of them, and I want to sleep.” He sighed, “But I also don’t want to be an annoyance to all of you.”

“You are not an annoyance. After Coffee, we will do just that. We will go home, we will watch Disney movies until we fall asleep, and we will ask Patton to make dinner. The original plan was to go out for dinner, but I am sure Virgil will be much more comfortable with this idea.”

“You already had plans, you don’t have to change them for my benefit.” Roman was surprised that he got his full sentence out. Logan would typically cut him off, but this time he listened to the end.

“Although I do prefer to make plans and stick to them, I think today would be a good day to make an exception. Your plan is a good plan and when you have good ideas, they should be followed up on.”

He couldn’t help but stare at Logan, watching him closely. “You’ve changed T-800. Sorry, I yelled at you.”

“I won’t lie, your words hurt, but I also don’t blame you. Lewis has that effect on people’s emotions.”

Roman chuckled as they began walking, Patton occasionally throwing glances back at them. “So, you know Remy?”

“Yes, we attended the same college here in Florida. As I am sure he has made you aware, he studied art and stage production. I believe he would consider us friends, and, most likely, I would as well. Though, I did not have much choice in the matter.”

Roman smirked, he held his head a little higher now. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. “That sounds like Remy.”

“Gurl! Took you four long enough.” Remy was waving them down. He already had a new coffee in his hands and was sitting alone at a table outside.

Dee was also there but he seemed preoccupied. The darkly clad man was pushing another man up against the wall, lips locked up in a passionate hunger. Virgil’s face contorted is concern and disgust, mouth agape until Roman spoke.

“Remus!” He shouted, the two finally men separating. Dee had a star-struck look in his eyes as he backed away, a sly smirk on his face.

“Pleasure to meet you, Remus.” Dee slurred a bit, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll meet you back at the house Vee, and congrats Roman.” He locked eyes with Virgil who followed after his brother quickly.

“Dee what the f-”

“Language,” Patton yelled.

“Remus, what are you doing here?” Roman’s body language was tense and his head fell a bit as he took a step behind Logan. Normally he and Remus would already be at each other’s throats but in one moment everything came crashing back to him.

Remus has always been the center of attention, their parents constantly concerned over his antics. Remus has been the one who was given therapy for his outbursts. Remus was the one that was now a director. Roman could hear Lewis praising Remus for his work. Roman didn’t want to be compared to his brother again.

“What, you didn’t think I would miss my little brother’s big performance did you?” Remus had a twisted teasing smile on his face, but it fell when Roman just shrugged.

“What, did someone defang the great and powerful Roman?”

“Did you just come here to harass me?”

There was silence as Logan and Patton stood protectively in front of Roman who did his best to square his shoulders and regain his composure. The only sound was aren’t sipping his drink as he watched the drama unfold. For a moment they all looked at each other until Remus finally spoke. “Someone really did get under your skin.” He turned to Remy. “Who do I need to kill?” His eyes suddenly turning wild and uncontrolled.

Remy took a long slurp of his drink. “I don’t know Re, that’s not my tea to spill, and you are the type to actually go and kill someone.”

“OF COURSE I AM! I am the only one allowed to harass my brother. He is MY brother.” He growled angrily. “Someone hurt Roman, it’s my job to protect the idiotic prince. Damn it.” He turned on his heal, looking at the two protecting his brother and his eyes narrowed. “Was it one of you two? I swear I will carve out your eyes, slowly and painfully.”

“It wasn’t them.” Roman finally blurted out. “I’m just not feeling well.” “Don’t give me that shit!”  
“Language.”  
“Oh shut it crumbled cookie, who hurt my brother?”

“By the screams of snipped snakes in a Gorgon’s salon, Remus stop! I’m fine!” He wasn’t. He really wasn’t but that seemed to pacify Remus. His brother’s snarl fell into a giddy little smile.

“That’s the Roman I know.” He pushed Patton and Logan out of the way as he hugged Roman. “Don’t make me start complimenting you. Neither of us will be comfortable with that Prince Pacifier.”

“Yeah, alright Duke Dumbass.”

Virgil came walking back over. “Well, nice to see we are all buddy buddy now. What does everyone want?”

“I will come with you.” After grabbing drinks the four of them all sat down and discussed the play. Remus obviously had opinions on the play but he was careful not to insult Roman. By the time they were done Roman was in the back of the car curled up against Patton, sleeping soundly.


	25. Chapter 25

Virgil pulled into their driveway and looked at Logan before the two of them looked back at Roman and Patton. Neither of them wanted to walk the two sleeping in the back of the car, but they couldn’t sleep in the car. Virgil took to waking up Patton, and Logan woke Roman. Both were still a bit groggy as they walked into the house but they were beginning to wake back up.

“Took you all long enough.”

“You’re the one that left early,” Virgil said before going over to sit next to his brother, flopping onto the couch. “So, you and Roman’s brother?”

“Well, I don’t want to be a part of that conversation,” Roman muttered. “Pat if you aren’t feeling up to cooking tonight it’s alright.”

“No, I want to cook, if that’s.. um... if that’s what you want.” “Of course that's what I want. I love your cooking.”  
“Are you sure? You don’t have to be nice to spare my feelings.” “No, I would never.”

“He is quite right Patton, you are the best cook in our household, there is no reason for him to lie.”

Patton lit up at that. He still felt a little self-conscious, but he had to remember that Lewis was a liar. Roman had never said he disliked the cookies or anything that Patton had cooked. “I’ll have dinner out in a jiffy, then we can eat and watch Disney movies.”

It was Roman’s turn to smile. “I shall go prepare myself!” With that he turned and walked into his bedroom, yawning slightly. This night was turning out to be a good one.

Then his phone buzzed.

Roman had resisted the urge to look all night, with Logan’s help of course, but Logan wasn’t here. The phone buzzed again.

_“What if I came with you?”_

_“No, it’s okay, you want to spend time with your roommates instead of your boyfriend, that’s fine.”_

_“How about after you come back to my place? We can have the night together. “You aren’t responding. Are you okay”?_

_“Roman don't be like this, I know you have your phone.”_

_“Come on Ro, tell me where you are at. I’ll pick you up.”_

_“Talk to me”_

_“You know I love you”_

_“Roman!!”_

_“Ro if you don’t text me back I’m going to be pissed” “You don’t want to make me angry, do you?”_

_“Fine”_

_“Fine”_

_“Fine”_

_“I get it, your mad.”_

_“I’ll be patient.”_

_“Why aren’t you replying asshole!”_

Roman looked at the mass of text messages on his phone. There were almost a hundred messages in the past hour. Just like Logan said they alternated from caring and compassionate to angry and possessive. For a brief moment, Roman’s head felt clear. When had he let someone talk to him like this? When did he start letting someone threaten him? He was supposed to be a prince, confident and happy, ready to take the world by storm and ready to vanquish any villain who threatened others.

His phone buzzed again.

_“I’m sorry”_

_“I didn’t mean that”_

_“I'm just worried.”_

_“Please text me back Roman, I love you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”_

He enjoyed the feeling of belonging to someone, of being in a relationship. Lewis didn’t mean to say the things that he said. Logan couldn’t be right, Lewis was a sweetheart. He was always by Roman’s side when he had stage fright or when he needed help with lines. His finger hovered over the keyboard. He wanted to respond. Who did he really trust, Lewis, or his roommates?

He didn’t have to answer that yet as a knock came on his door.

“Just a moment.” Roman turned off his phone and set it on his nightstand, looking at all of the theater posters around his room. He had missed being able to actually just enjoy his room, rather than coming in only for the purpose of sleeping. He had missed the reminders of why he worked so hard to maintain his schedule. It reminded him why he loved to act. Roman looked at the now silent phone. Logan had asked him to wait until Sunday. Roman wasn’t a love-struck teenager anymore he could go a day and a half without texting his boyfriend, and when he turned on his phone he could prove Logan wrong.

Finally, he opened the door. Patton stood there patiently with a smile on his face. That smile began to fade as he saw the look in Roman’s eyes. “Hey Ro, can I give you a hug?”

He didn’t really need to ask but he appreciated that Patton was trying to be conscious of his needs. “I do not believe that is necessary Pat.”

“Necessary or not, I have missed you.”

He felt his heart jump in his chest a bit as he gave Patton a weak nod and felt the other male wrap his arms around Roman’s body. There was something so completely different about Patton’s hug. Lewis’s hugs were always strong, even if he was shorter than Roman. His hugs felt like a cage but Patton’s were soft and comforting. His arms were strong but not so tight that Roman couldn’t leave if he didn’t want to.

Lewis smelt like chemicals, Patton smelt like food, warm and comforting. Roman broke. He clung to Patton’s shirt and fought back tears. A prince did not need to cry, a prince was strong. Patton wasn’t judging. He shifted his arm to hold Roman closer, rubbing his back as he consoled him.

“It’s okay, you are safe now.”

Roman had never broken down like this, it was new and frightening. Maybe he should just return to Lewis. Things weren’t that bad with him and the consistency was nice. He had always known want to expect.

“I’m here for you.”

When had he become so afraid of change?

“Patton, I want to go back to him. That isn’t healthy, right? There is something wrong with me, right?”

“No, there is nothing wrong with you. Change is hard, especially in times of high stress.” He finally pulled away, putting his hands on Roman’s shoulders. “You are amazing, but someone

has been telling you that you aren’t, and it’s going to take you time to remember how magnificent you are. After all, you are the most handsome prince in the land.”

Roman gave him a weak and broken smile. “Thank you Patton.”

“Of course, how about we eat dinner. You have had a hard week. I made something extra special. Then we can watch any Disney movie you want, and anything else you want tonight?” Patton held Roman’s hand tightly, giving him a goofy smile.

“I like the idea of that.” Roman gave Patton a smile, “but let me clean up first.”

“And get your PJs on!” Patton smiled and waited outside his bedroom door. Roman took some makeup wipes, taking off the last of what was left from the play. He could only imagine how much of a mess he looked.

After he had changed and verified that he didn’t look horrendous, Roman allowed Patton to drag him to the kitchen where Logan and Virgil were already sitting and waiting for them. The smell of fresh-baked cookies filled his nose. On the table sat tomato soup and grilled cheese. It all looked homemade. Roman relaxed into his chair.

“How are you doing emotionally?” Logan asked. “Probably about as well as you would expect.”

Roman, though feeling relaxed right now, still had a nagging darkness in the back of his mind. He looked over at Logan, who had a look in his eyes. Logan understood, and Roman could tell. It was obvious over the past few months Logan had grown and was able to express his emotions better, still, it only showed in his eyes. Roman was watching him intently, looking for something, maybe a sign of deception.

With shaky hands and a steadying breath, Logan locked eyes with Roman. “I came to the logical decision that it would help both of us if I shared my history.” He straightened his glasses. “With all of you, I think it is important you are all aware of how that man got a foothold in my life.” Logan didn’t feel the need to share his history with Dee, but he also thought it would be good to have Dee feel like a part of their ‘family’.

Roman shifted in his seat, his focus now completely and totally on Logan. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Logan to tell him a lie so that he could return to Lewis or if he wanted Logan to tell him how to escape. This would also be the first time Logan was sharing so intimate. Was it wrong to ask that of him? Roman bit his lip gently, shifting in his seat and scared his shoulders, preparing himself for this tale.


	26. Chapter 26

Before Logan could start his story, Dee stood up, to the surprise of everyone there.

“Dee, I am not planning on excluding you from this.” Logan pushed up his glasses, hiding his hesitation.

“Oh I’m aware of that, and while I appreciate the effort, I think I have better things to be doing. You don’t need an outsider listening to your heart story.”

“Dee...” Virgil said, an unspoken conversation happening between the two of them.

“Damn you are such a worrywart. I’ll be home before 1 am. You can call the coast guard after that point okay?”

Virgil rolled his eyes but there was a hint of acceptance in his eyes as Dee walked away, exiting the door.

There was a mild look of disgust on Roman’s face. Virgil nudged him with his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it princey.”

“Hard not to after what I saw today.” They both nodded in agreement before turning to look at Logan.

“If anyone else feels they don’t want to hear this story that is alright.”

“None of us are leaving Logie, we want to hear this story. We want to be there for you.” Patton said as he reached out and touched Logan’s hand.

“I grew up in a fairly rich family. My dad was a published astrophysicist, and my father was a pediatric neurosurgeon. Dad was the emotional backbone of the family, and when I was in middle school, he mugged in a back alley. He didn’t even have any cash on him.” Logan rubbed a circle on his knuckles. His face didn’t show an ounce of emotion, but his hands shook.

“Father and I coped in the only way we knew how. We both threw ourselves into our work. Family time happened less often and though we lived in the same house, it was like growing up alone.” Logan took a shaky breath, “Until...” He was having a hard time getting the next words out. Virgil reached out, taking his hand gently as did Patton. Logan clung to both of them as if they were the only safe place in a broken world.

“Until Father came home diagnosed with leukemia.” His hands tightened around the other two and his mask of indifference broke. He tried to keep himself calm as a few tears rolled down his face. His voice remained steady though he continued to cry silently. “I was a junior in high school, and my father hadn’t been taking care of his health. He had insisted he was fine, so by

the time they caught it... we both knew.” Logan had his eyes closed now, his breath soft and ragged. He refused to completely break down but the rest of them could see the cracks. “I lost my father two days before my high school graduation. I wasn’t quite 18, but I was deemed old enough to not be placed into the system. So when I went to college I was in a bad place emotionally. I attempted to push all of my emotions back, to compartmentalize, and focus on my studies. I thought I could learn to be fine alone, but then I met Lewis.”

His voice had a surprising fondness as he said Lewis’ name. “He was so accepting. He never required me to speak of what had happened. He told me that it was okay to deal with things in my own time and for the first time since middle school, I felt like someone cared for my well being. I assumed he didn’t want me to speak about my past because it made me unhappy. I thought his constant praise was to help me through a dark place. We started dating soon after we met, and though I was hesitant he insisted as long as I stayed by his side he would protect me. Things changed after we started dating” He wrapped his arms around his body and opened his eyes.

“At first, he made me feel wanted.”

Logan looked at Roman and they both shared a look. They knew what it was like, to need to be wanted, to need to be loved. Roman knew exactly what that felt like. He too had longed for approval and they had both sought it out from a man who was willing to give it with hidden strings. He still didn’t want to believe Logan, but now, he had watched the stoic Logan breakdown twice in one day. He was not that good of an actor, this was real.

“You don’t have to continue Specs.” Roman said softly.

Shaking his head, Logan looked at Roman, “No, I need to say this. I need to actually tell someone... I... I’ve never really said it all.” He gave Virgil and Patton’s hands a reassuring squeeze before pulling away slowly.

“I didn’t realize what Lewis was doing to me, not at first. Each time I would begin to make friends because of group projects he would convince me that they hated me, that he was the only one who could love me, that I was broken without him. I believed him. I had been broken before without him, it made sense that if he left I would be broken again. It was a faulty logic that I somehow fell for.” Logan’s eyes grew serious as he looked directly at Roman.

“He preyed on my insecurities, on my fear that I would be alone. He told me exactly what I wanted to hear but his words were rarely sincere.”

Roman nodded.

“He... he had me convinced that he was the only one who would enjoy watching me perform.” Roman’s voice was soft and low. How had he not realized that? How had he not known that that was a lie?

“Kiddo, you know that’s not true. I can’t speak for the others, but I love watching you perform.”

Roman gave him a weak smile. “Thank you.” He turned back to Logan. “So how did you overcome it all?”

“I haven’t, at least not yet, I still hear his voice in the back of my head telling me he is the only one who could ever love me. I can still feel his fingers on my skin, coaxing me to his side.” Logan shivered.

“No, I mean, how did you get the strength to leave?”

He hesitated. What had it been? “It’s hard to find one single moment. I remember I had attempted to break up with him a few times, normally my reasoning being that I wasn’t good enough for him. Very rarely would I try to break up with him because I knew there was something wrong with our relationship.” Logan pulled his glasses off, grabbing his shirt to clean them, ignoring the tear stains still prominent on his face. “He always pulled me back in with sweet words and fake apologies. I thought this was what was normal. Then, over the summer break, I was supposed to be doing summer school but I couldn’t. I was emotionally drained. I had almost failed out of all of my classes and I was on academic probation. My life was spiraling out of control. Lewis was suggesting I take online classes but I knew from experience that it was difficult for me to maintain the focus needed for an online class.” Logan put his glasses back on, forcing himself to focus on the topic at hand.

“I woke up one morning in Lewis’ arms and I had just a single thought in my head, ‘I’m not happy.’ Some days with Lewis we’re wonderful, we would go out and have fun together, but it was always things he enjoyed. I hadn’t gone to a planetarium since my father died. We always ate at the same restaurant. I didn’t particularly like the food there, but it was Lewis’ favorite. We never ate pizza, which I sorely missed. I don’t really know what gave me the strength but that morning I quietly grabbed a few clothes and mementos I had. Then, I left, catching the first train out of the city. I have a terrible fear of flying, I needed to get as far from Lewis as possible, and I needed the time to myself to process.”

“One of the few luxuries I had was money. I had been smart enough to never give Lewis my account information, and once I became settled in Florida, I put a name change in and started going to a new college. I left Lewis behind and tried to start over.”

“Well, running isn’t really my style.” Roman lamented.

“No, but you had something much more important than what I had.”

He looked at Logan skeptically, leaning back in his chair. “You have friends.”

Roman’s face broke into a weak smile. “Yeah, I guess I do.”


	27. Chapter 27

The street lamp over the theater shone brightly over Lewis as he waited. He had checked the message on his phone multiple times, trying to find deception in the words. He wouldn’t be tricked again, but his heart jumped a bit as he read the name at the top of the message string.

Logan.

His Logan had reached out first. His Logan was talking to him again. Logan was much too careful to give his phone to someone else. Not to mention the words were just like him. Lewis smiled as he reread the message again, rubbing his finger over the words.

_‘I believe it is possible that I lashed out emotionally after the play. Dee pointed out that, I may have been experiencing ‘jealousy’. I would like to discuss this further. Will you meet me at the theater at 11:00 pm?’_

Always so eloquent and verbose, Lewis missed this. He missed him. Logan had always been an entertaining boyfriend to be with. Sure he had messed up a lot, but he was still a good man. As the clock struck 10:59 a smile crossed Lewis’ face. He could hear footsteps. His Logan has always been perfectly punctual. When he looked up, however, his smile fell. The figure walking towards him was too short to be Logan, and he walked with a slight limp. Lewis watched as Dee came into view, his smile falling completely and forming a snarl.

“Where is Logan, snake face?” He had been suspicious that this man was not actually on his side, but he had finally gotten a reaction out of Logan. He had wanted to believe that he could finally have his boyfriend back in his arms.

“Oh no, I’ve never heard that one before. You have absolutely destroyed my feelings.” Dee raised his hand to his chest in mock hurt before letting out a wicked chuckle. “You didn’t honestly believe I would orchestrate this whole plan, set up all of the pawns in their place, just to be undone by a cellphone did you?” His hand dipped into his pocket, pulling out the cellphone that Logan had entrusted to him before the start of the play. “I’m actually surprised Lewis, you were much easier to take down then I thought.”

“You act as if I am some villain.” He snapped, showing his true anger.

“Oh, but aren’t you? Destroying the confidence of two separate people for your own gain. Don’t get me wrong, I have major respect for you. Unfortunately, you messed with the wrong people.” Dee held up his hand motioning with his fingers for someone to come out of the shadows and Lewis could hear the sound of metal scraping on concrete.

From the alleyway came a raspy voice. “A pound of flesh for a pound of flesh, you hurt my brother now guess who’s next?” Remus shambled forward, a Morningstar dragging on the ground behind him.

The color drained from Lewis’ face. It was easy enough to tell that Roman and Remus were related, even if their fashion styles were literal opposites in color and flair. Remus and Roman shared a face, with the exception of Remus’ mustache which made him look like a classic cartoon villain. Somehow, that didn’t stop him from being intimidating in the low light.

“Lay a finger on me and I will call the police.”

“You assume they will find the body,” Remus croaked and Lewis flinched back, right into Dee.

“As I see it now you have two options,” Dee plucked the still unlocked phone from Lewis’ hand, scrolling through the contact list and deleting anyone who might have a connection, Logan or Roman. He then went through, deleting text message chains as well.

“Leave, and never come back, or you can try to continue your unhealthy relationship with either Roman or Logan. I don’t think Remus would take kindly to you hurting his brother again.”

Lewis attempted to maintain a facade of bravado, but as Remus began to lift the morning star above his head, the smaller man couldn’t help but let the fear get to him. “Fine, I’ll stop.” He flinched back, turning to look at Deceit. “Just call off the guard dog.”

“Scurry away.” Dee elongated the s like a snake, shoving Lewis’ phone back into his chest. His brown and yellow eyes looked over Lewis one last time, anger glinting in the crinkled edges of scars. Lewis could have sworn there was something demonic about this man. He wasn’t planning to find out if that was true. Turning tail, he ran.

For a few minutes, Remus and Dee said nothing. They listened to the sound of Lewis fleeing into the night until his footsteps disappeared. Then, Remus burst out laughing. The plastic prop in his hand dropped to the ground with a hollow thud as he bent over laughing. The tension between them began to fade and Dee allowed a small smirk to cover his face. He wasn’t sure this would get Lewis away for good, but it certainly would push him away for a while, enough time for Roman to begin his recovery.

Remus continued to howl with laughter, trying not to fall on the floor until he looked up at Dee. “You think an actor of ‘his caliber’ could tell the difference between a real weapon and tap shoes

being dragged on the ground.” A flirtatious smile covered her face. “I would have done this without the kiss ya know?”

Dee turned around, “actually I know nothing about you, so I caved to your demands to get what I want.”

Remus scrambles to grab the prop and follow after Dee.  
“Wait, did you not want that? I’m a horny bastard but I’m still big on consent.” “I never said I didn’t want it.”

“But then-” Remus followed him confused but Dee said nothing more. There was something about the lunatic that kept him entertained. He had promised Virgil that there was nothing between them, and for now, that was true.

“Do you want to come back to my place, we can have a little more fun tonight?” Remus asked, getting very close to Dee’s personal space, still trying to gage Deceit’s interest.

“I still have work to do to pull this whole thing off.” “That’s not a no.”  
He couldn’t help but smirk. “Down boy.”

~*~

On the other side of town, Roman and Patton sat on the couch as Virgil and Logan brought snacks into the living room. “Why didn’t the restaurant on the moon get a lot of customers?” Patton had been telling Roman jokes for the past ten minutes now. Roman’s sides hurt from how much he had been laughing but he egged Patton on anyway.

“Why?”

“Because the food was out of this world but it had no atmosphere.”

Behind Roman’s laughter was a small snort. Everyone turned to Logan, who had a light dusting of red on his face. He was adjusting his tie with his free hand.

“Did you just laugh at one of my dad jokes?” Patton’s eyes sparkled with happiness. “No, I did not.”

“Yes you did L, I heard you,” Virgil piped in, flopping onto the couch.

“Our darkly clad friend it right, you laughed,” Roman chucked. He went through the menu on the movie to queue it up.

“You cannot prove that I found his joke amusing.”

“We are on your side pop.” Logan sat down with a huff. “Don’t you and Patton have something for Roman?” He was desperately trying to focus attention off of himself.

“Oh that’s right,” Virgil fished a paper out of his jacket. “Pat and I worked on this while you were gone.” He passed a list of songs to Roman.

“What is this?” At the top of the paper was a title ‘To Remind you, you are loved and amazing’ and a list of songs.

“Virgil and I tried to go through every Disney Soundtrack and pull out the songs we thought would help remind you how awesome you are, but I found a few that I really wanted to include that are there to remind you that we care.”

A small smirk of a smile began to grow on his face. “You two are amazingly extra.” But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the paper, a messy scrawl of purple handwriting.

“Says you,” Virgil’s voice was indignant but he had a smile on his face.

“Really, Perfect Isn’t Easy? You think I’m a villain?” Roman teased.

“If you don’t want it, give it back.”

“No, it’s mine Jack Sorrow.” Roman held the list close to his chest before they both burst out into laughter, Virgil’s much more muted but the smile on his face was obvious.

The four relaxed into silence as the title credits for Snow White pulled up on the screen. Roman wanted to see just how many Disney Movies he could get through before falling asleep. He had forgotten how much he missed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! I really do hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to comment, comments are one of my few sources of serotonin I have in this world! Also, if you want to know what songs are on the list that the group made for Roman, I may have made that playlist too.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLU1cjH0WDkO1z3dbf6CbSzPrzYIxBfYI-


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